Candle in the Window
by scribeninja
Summary: Sequel to Graveyard of Good Intentions. NFL player Eric and Teacher Sookie are happily married and more in love than ever. They've settled into a great life and are talking about expanding their family when something unexpected and life-altering happens.
1. The Legendary Eric Northman is Whipped

**A/N:**

Hey everyone! Long time, no see for these two! This is the sequel to the multi-chapter Graveyard of Good Intentions: Redux, so if you haven't read that, please do before starting this!

This takes place 5 years from where we left off last time, and that was with Sookie accepting Eric's proposal after they graduated college. So now we've got NFL player Eric, and his wife Counselor/Teacher Sookie. On with the show!

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**Chapter 1 - The Legendary Eric Northman is Whipped  
**

I was getting dressed after a long practice and thinking about getting home to my wife, when one of the rookies came up to me.

"The legendary Eric Northman, I can't believe it," he said.

The guy had been traded from another team, and today was his first day practicing with us.

"Not really all that legendary, but thanks," I said politely. I didn't like the attention, never had.

"You're a legend to me. I think a group of us are going out for drinks, are you gonna join?" he asked, a little over-eager. He kind of reminded me of my brother in law, Jason.

"No, I don't do that stuff. I'm just going to head home to my wife," I smiled, and kept going about my business.

"You mean Eric Northman is whipped?" Oh yes, definitely like Jason. He didn't possess a brain filter.

"I suggest you go back to the other rookies before you say anything else," the man beside me said.

"Hey, I didn't mean anything bad by it. I've heard your wife is a total fox. I'd wanna go home and tap that too."

Just as I was about to slam him against the lockers, my teammate beat me to it.

"Really, shut your mouth and go back where you belong," he told the scared rookie.

"Alright, alright." The kid scampered off, and I took a deep breath.

"Thanks, Alcide. I appreciate it," I said, giving him a pat on the back.

"No problem man. You'd do the same for me, and I really don't want you getting suspended for hitting that jackass."

"Well, Sookie might like that," I said.

"She still worrying?"

"Yeah. I get it. I just wish it wasn't an issue."

"I had the same problem with Maria. You guys will get past it, just keep communicating," he said, and patted my shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See ya, man."

I finished getting dressed and drove home with what Alcide said on my mind. A lot had changed in five years. I never thought I would have Alcide as my best guy friend, but we both got drafted to the same team. It was awkward at first, but Sookie and Maria had us all get together a few times, and the awkwardness passed. I knew that Alcide was in love with Maria, and Maria knew that Sookie was in love with me, so we all became close friends. Alcide and Maria actually had two beautiful kids together: Jackson, who was four, and Janice, who was two. They were a happy family.

Sookie and I had been discussing starting a family recently. When we married we decided to wait a few years before trying for kids. We wanted to settle into our new life in a new city, and just enjoy being married for a while. Once we started heading into our late twenties, we wanted to start our family. Our time for being young and alone was nearing an end. We'd had the years of loud sex with no interruptions, and being able to pick up and go on vacation whenever we wanted with no worries.

Sookie's way of telling me she was ready, without even knowing it herself, was when she started looking for a dog at shelters. She ended up finding a golden retriever/sheltie mix and adopted him. He was quite the surprise for me when I got home that day, but we quickly bonded. We named him Jude, and as I watched the way she doted on him it hit me that maybe it was time to think seriously about having children.

The "having children" conversation led to our first ongoing disagreement. When we discussed it, I revealed that I wanted Sookie to stop working when she had the baby. Sookie didn't like that at all. She liked her work. Then it came out that she was scared to death that I would get injured seriously playing football. She told me that the fear really began when she realized we were ready for kids, and she knew it was irrational, but it was still there.

That was where we were stuck: Sookie, with her irrational fear that I would get hurt, and me wanting her to stay home with our child while she wanted to be able to work. It was a weird kind of limbo, and we couldn't move forward with the trying until we worked some of it out.

I decided to take Alcide's advice though, and just keep talking about it until something worked out. Sookie and I had learned our lesson about communication back when we were in high school, and we weren't going to make that mistake again. Despite the issues we had, we were still very much in love. We'd just had our fifth wedding anniversary, and were nearing our tenth for being together.

I pulled my new Corvette into the garage of our modest three-bedroom home, and walked into the kitchen to find my gorgeous wife standing over the stove, cooking supper.

"Hello beautiful," I greeted her, sweeping her hair to the side and kissing her neck.

"Evening, handsome," she replied. "How was practice?"

"Same as usual, but our new rookie started today. He pulled out the "Legendary Eric Northman" crap," I said, and hopped up onto the counter next to the stove.

"I'm sorry," she laughed. "That got old as soon as it started."

Jude came running into the kitchen, and stood on his hind legs in front of me, barking at me until I jumped off the counter and got onto the floor with him.

"Hey boy," I said, scratching him behind the ears. "Have you had dinner?"

"He has, it's safe to give him a treat," Sookie answered.

I smiled. I loved giving Jude his treat. Sookie let me do it, and he always gave me more attention at night because of it. I pulled out the box and he went nuts, running around in circles, and barking happily. He caught the treat as I tossed it in the air, and ran off to eat it. I hopped back up on the counter next to Sookie.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"Good. I talked a couple more kids into going to college, and made appointments for their parents to come in so we can talk options. I pulled a crying girl into my office and got it out of her that she'd discovered another student was planning on bringing a gun to the school."

"What? How can you consider that a good day?" I asked. It was things like that that made me want her to stay home after we had kids.

"Because we managed to get the kid planning it, and got him help before he could hurt anyone," she said, her tone a little hurt. I sighed, and she turned the burner off and set down her spoon.

"Eric," she said, moving over to stand between my legs. "I know you don't like the school I work at, but the good that I can do outweighs the bad. Those students that are going to college are extremely talented, and they'll do good things in this screwed up world. And the kid planning on bringing the gun? He's a very bright kid, and he wanted to kill himself at the school. We stopped that from happening."

"Those are great things, but it's still dangerous there. I… I don't want you to stop working when we have kids, but I would love it if you could look into transferring somewhere less dangerous. Maybe you could get into counseling kids somewhere, or teaching at a preschool."

"That would be a good compromise," she smiled, taking my hands in hers.

"Really? You'd really look into something else?"

"I could do that if it would give you peace of mind."

"But do you really want to?"

"Nobody wants to change jobs. But, I would like to be able to stay home for a while, or have a more flexible job. I don't want our kids with a nanny or in daycare as an infant. I was actually thinking of asking you how you would feel about me taking a year or so off work."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Wait, how long have you been thinking about this? These are some pretty major decisions," I said, suddenly feeling wary.

"Since this weekend when I had lunch with Maria."

"What did she say that made you change your mind?"

"I asked her if she regretted her decision to quit working and be a stay at home mother, and she said it was the best decision she ever made. She said that she goes crazy with the need to be around people every once in a while, and that's when you and I get those desperate phone calls begging us to keep the kids for an evening so they can go out on a date. But apparently, the seeing your kids grow up part outweighs the moments when you want to rip your hair out."

"Are you thinking of taking more than a year or so off?" I asked cautiously.

"All I ask is that you be okay with it if I want to work again, but yes, I think I want to stay at home," she said.

"God I love you," I said, and then seized her lips with mine.

"Hold up," she said, pulling away. "This doesn't mean we're going to start trying right away, okay?"

"Why not? If it's about the fear thing, Alcide said Maria went through the same thing when they started kid talk. It's probably normal."

"I know. I talked to her about that too. I know it's irrational, but I can't shake it. That's not why I don't want to start trying right away though."

"Then why?"

"I'd like to wait until we get closer to the end of the school year. It's easier for them to replace someone if it's summer."

I jumped off the counter and hugged her to me tightly.

"We're really going to do this, aren't we? Make a little us," I said, feeling deliriously happy. If I were Jude, I would have been running around in circles.

"Yes we are. Gran'll be pleased. I can't talk to her anymore without her asking if we're expecting yet," she said, causing me to pull away and force her to look at me.

"I love Gran, and I know she'll be happy, but I want to know if you are happy."

"I haven't been this excited about something since our wedding day," she whispered with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

"I love you," I said, wrapping her up in my arms again.

"I love you."

"Come on." I started pulling her towards the bedroom, suddenly having the overwhelming urge to make love to my wife.

"Eric," she giggled. "What about supper?"

"It can wait. I think I'll have my dessert first."

* * *

**A/N:**

Thanks to Krismom and FarDareisMai2 for their sharp ass eyes! You two rock my socks!

The team Eric and Alcide play for, and the state they moved to will be revealed in the next chapter. If you have any questions about anything regarding Eric and Sookie over the last 5 years, please ask. If I haven't thought of it and you tell me, I'll still have time to work it into the story!


	2. Kids, Cake, and the Great Monty Python

**A/N:**

Thank you for the great response ladies! I'm happy that everyone is happy to see more of these two! I hope you continue to enjoy them!

****

* * *

**Chapter 2 - Kids, Cake, and the Great Monty Python**

The alarm clock's screeching gradually brought me out of my sleep. I woke like I normally did; wrapped up with Eric in some way or another. This morning I was lying with my head on his shoulder, and as he groaned and reached to the nightstand to turn the alarm off, I buried my face in his chest.

"Mmm," he hummed, wrapping his arms around me and placing a kiss on my head.

"Why did I pick a career that requires me to get up early?" I asked.

He chuckled, and rolled me onto my back.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, smiling as he pressed himself into me.

"I'm horny," he said.

"You'd think after five years of marriage…"

"Nope, I'll always be horny for you," he said, and then kissed me. I loved that we could be intimate this way in the morning, and I loved that he still woke up craving me.

"Do you think you could shower with me while we do this so I'm not late again?" I asked. The week before he'd woken up this way, and I ended up missing a morning appointment with a student.

"Of course," he grinned. "I wouldn't want you to be late again."

After a very steamy round in the shower, I got ready for work while Eric fixed me breakfast. That was our deal. He fixed breakfast, and I fixed supper. It wasn't a set in stone kind of deal, and I often made breakfast on the weekends, but it was just how we worked. I put on a pencil skirt and my button-up blouse, and went downstairs to find Eric slipping Jude some bacon.

"Stop that," I scolded, and they both jumped.

"Sorry," Eric said while Jude scampered off with his early morning treat.

I shook my head and smiled, while getting out glasses and pouring us both some orange juice. Eric pulled out some silverware, and brought two full plates to the table, giving me a kiss before sitting down.

"Thanks for breakfast sweetie," I told him as I dug in.

"You're welcome," he smiled. "So, anything special happening today?"

"I have a few appointments with some seniors about college options. You know, those overachievers who start freaking about college the second month of school."

"You mean like you?"

"I did not freak about college that soon!"

"You were already nervous about it that early. The counselor in Bon Temps High doesn't have anything on you though. You'll calm those kids down easily," he said with confidence.

"Yes, I will," I agreed, and laughed. "What about you? Anything special?"

"Not really. Coach is being really rough on the new guys. The beginning of the season is always a bit tough. Oh, Alcide wanted to know if we'd like to go out for drinks with them after the game on Sunday."

"That sounds fun! I'd love to if you want to."

"Yeah, a date night sounds good. Maria's parents are down, and they're going to watch the kids for the night."

"That's sweet of them. I wonder if we can get Gran to come stay with us once in a while to do that," I mused aloud, and loved the way his eyes lit up when he knew I was alluding to us having kids.

"We really need to go see her soon," he said. "How about going home for Thanksgiving?"

"I'll call her today and see if we can make some plans."

We finished up breakfast, and I went upstairs to brush my teeth. When I came back down, Eric was washing up the dishes. It still amazed me that the sight of my husband washing dishes got me turned on. And when he pulled out the pledge and an old rag? He knew it was one way to get a good blow job.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his hard, muscular back. He grabbed a towel and dried his hands, and then turned to give me a hug and one hell of a goodbye kiss.

"Have a good day," he said.

"With you kissing me like that, it certainly will be," I said.

"I can't help myself. You're the mother of my future children, and I want to worship you."

"I won't argue with that," I giggled, and after another few minutes of kissing, I was finally out the door.

It was a pretty typical morning in our life. We didn't always have sex first thing, but I assumed that was just Eric's happiness about me agreeing to stay home so we could have kids coming through. While we were in college we talked about having kids a little bit. Eric was sure even then that he wanted to be a dad. At first he wanted a big family, as in me pushing out five to seven babies. I quickly talked him out of that, and we agreed that a nice, round number of three would be plenty.

When he brought up trying to get pregnant, I did wig out a little. Just a few nights before he brought it up I had a dream. In it, I was at a funeral. Jason, Alcide, Maria, all our old friends… they were all there, but Eric was missing, and I was very pregnant. I woke up, convinced that I'd just dreamt of Eric's funeral, but I shook off the dream and didn't tell Eric. Then he started the kid talk, and I realized that I was scared to death that something would happen to him. We both knew it was ridiculous, but I just couldn't shake the memory of that dream.

Then I had lunch with Maria, and she said she had similar dreams when she first got pregnant. She assured me that it was probably a normal thing, and that it went away after little Jackson was born. I knew I had to get over it for the sake of our relationship, and for the sake of our potential family.

My morning appointments all went well, and after they were over I took some time to call Gran about Thanksgiving. Eric had to play a game on Thanksgiving Day, so we always celebrated the day after. I told her we would drive to Bon Temps after the game. She loved the idea, and said she'd get my old room ready for us. We chatted for a bit, and she asked me about kids again. I told her nothing was official yet, but that we may be trying soon. It didn't feel right telling her without Eric. I figured we could tell her together over the holidays.

At noon I left campus to meet with Maria, who'd called and asked about having lunch together. She tried to have lunch with me as often as possible to give herself some grownup time, and since her parents were down for the week she was taking advantage of their child-watching abilities.

While I waited at the restaurant for her, I let my mind wander. I remembered how we came to be friends five years earlier. Eric and I had just moved to Arlington after the Dallas Cowboys drafted him. Alcide ended up being a tenth round draft pick, and things were a bit awkward at first, but then Maria called me. The first thing she asked was, "Do you love your husband?" I was a bit taken aback, and then I understood what she was getting at. I loved Eric, and Alcide loved Maria, so there was no need for any awkwardness. Maria and I planned a few get-togethers, and we all became close friends.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late, Janice wouldn't let me go," Maria said as she sat down across from me.

"It's okay, I haven't been waiting long," I smiled.

"So how did last night go?" she asked as she looked over her menu.

"I told him, and it looks like we're going to start trying soon," I said. It felt so good to tell someone.

"Sookie! That's so great! What are you waiting for?"

"Well, it's only October. I've invested a lot of time in these kids, and I'd like to see the year out. We decided to start trying when the season ends."

"That's a good plan. Being pregnant with Jackson during playoffs was tough," she laughed. "But I'm very happy for you. I'll bet Eric is ecstatic."

"He is," I nodded.

"What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving this year?"

"I just called Gran this morning. We're going back to Bon Temps for it."

"Oh good! We're going to see Alcide's parents, so we're heading there too."

"Oh boy. When they start fighting, come on over to Gran's. She'll definitely have extra food, and the company will be better."

She laughed, "We just might take you up on that."

I went back to work after lunch, saw a couple of walk-ins, and then headed home. Jude was jumping around with the need to go to the bathroom, so I let him out in the backyard to relieve himself and run off some energy, while I changed clothes and did some laundry.

A couple hours later I fed Jude his supper while I started mine and Eric's up. He usually got home around seven, and I always looked forward to it. I still got those butterflies when I heard his car pull into the garage, and still got weak in the knees when the first thing he did was greet me with a kiss. He'd always been a romantic, and that hadn't changed.

I was just finishing up the stir-fry when I heard the garage door open and the roar of his Corvette's loud engine as he pulled in. A minute later he came in, and I heard him drop some things on the counter. Seconds after, he was behind me, his arms around my waist while he kissed my neck. My knees did their weak thing, so I turned the burner off and spun around to wrap my arms around his neck and gave him a proper hello kiss.

"Dinner smells delicious," he said after we broke apart.

"I reckon it'll taste good too," I smiled. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

"Could have been the shower sex this morning," he said as he pulled down two plates and got out silverware.

"That's true. We do have fantastic shower sex."

"I've been feeling extra happy all day. I even rented a movie, and swung by the bakery for some orange ginger cake."

"Really?!" I squealed rather loudly. I _loved_ that cake, and he knew it.

"On the counter," he said, nodding to the spot where he'd also set down the movie he rented.

I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck again, pulling him down for a thank you kiss.

"You are just the best husband ever. I should tell you I'm ready for kids more often."

"Ooh, say it again," he moaned, and then grinned.

"Hush," I laughed. "Let's eat supper, and then we can have cake while watching the movie. What movie did you get anyway?"

"Just some good old Monty Python."

"Feeling nostalgic for our old teenage veg-out days?"

"Possibly," he laughed, and then we sat down to eat.

"Gran is very excited to have us for Thanksgiving. She's already getting our room prepared."

"I can't wait to see her," he smiled. It had been hard on both of us to be away from Gran. Thankfully, she was just a few hours away by car.

"We'll have to tell her about our decision you know," I said.

"I know, and I'm excited about it. She'll be so happy."

"Actually, she'll be happy and then scold us for waiting."

"That too," he laughed.

After we finished eating, Eric gave Jude his treat and took him out, while I started on the dishes. He came back in time to help dry and put away, and then we went to the living room to watch the movie with our cake.

When the delicious cake was gone, Eric took the containers to the trash so Jude wouldn't try to lick the crumbs out, and when he came back I snuggled into his side. He wrapped his arm around me and ran his fingers through my hair as we watched and laughed at the movie. I loved being this way with him, and it happened so often. Our marriage was absolutely wonderful.

Of course, there were things he did that annoyed me, but he'd done them since we were teenagers so I was used to it. The man still hadn't learned how to put his used towels in the hamper, or how to re-cap the toothpaste, but it didn't make me love him any less. I knew there were things I did that annoyed him. Like leaving my skin care products all over the sink, and using his razor when I couldn't remember where mine was, and then misplacing his too. He still loved me and I still loved him.

At that moment, he was loving the side of my breast with his hand.

"What's going through that head of yours?" I asked.

"How much I want to make out with you like a teenager," he said huskily into my ear.

"What's stopping you?" I asked as my hand went to his lap.

In the next second I was flat on my back, with my horny husband hovering above me.

"I don't remember the rules here," I joked. "Since we're making out like teenagers, does that mean that my shirt can't come off? Should we try to be quiet? Are you going to play 'just the tip'?"

He started laughing, and dropped his head to my shoulder as he continued laughing. I laughed with him until we both calmed down enough to talk.

"First of all, I want to meet a girl who's actually fallen for that 'just the tip' bullshit. Second, we're married, so your shirt is coming off at some point, and I don't want you ever to be quiet." He leaned down to lick and nibble on the spot on my neck that set me off, and I let out a low moan. "See," he said, "I love that noise."

"If you focus on that spot, we'll never get to the making out part," I panted.

"You're right. We need to start out slow, so stay away from my nipples."

I giggled as his lips descended once more, and settled on mine. Eric was an excellent kisser to begin with, and he only got better with age and experience. After only a few minutes we were both panting heavily and grinding against one another. True to the teenage making out thing, my bra was lying on the floor, but my shirt was still on. When I was sure I couldn't take anymore, I made him sit up so I could pull off my yoga pants and underwear, and then I straddled his lap. He lifted my shirt and pulled it off, and then I undid his jeans. In the next second I was lowering myself onto him until he was completely inside me. Nothing compared to the way I felt when I was connected to Eric in this way.

"What happened to teenage making out?" Eric asked, his voice strained.

"That was your plan, not mine," I answered, and began to move.

His hands went to my hips and his mouth to my breasts, as I rode him.

"Lean back," he panted.

If there was one thing I'd come to know quickly about Eric sexually, it was that he was a very, very visual creature. He loved to watch what was going on, where we were joined, and we were often in a position that gave him the best view. After a couple of years of being too bashful to really enjoy it, Eric had shown me how hot it was, and now we both loved to watch.

Eric put his large hands on my lower back to support me as I leaned far enough back that I could put my arms on the coffee table behind me. It was a good thing it was so heavy and didn't move, because I used it to help support my motion as I moved with Eric. The angle was perfect for him to hit just the right spot inside me, and it was slowly driving me insane.

We kept a slow and steady pace until it became unbearable, and when it did, Eric groaned loudly and pulled me back up on his lap. He put his hands on my hips as I rode him hard and fast, until we were both crying out with our climaxes.

"That never gets old," Eric said when our breathing got somewhat back to normal.

"At least Jude doesn't interrupt anymore," I laughed, remembering the time we did it on the couch and Jude had come up and licked Eric's… well, balls. Eric had screamed and Jude scampered off, frightened. I remember being confused, and then Eric told me what happened, and I couldn't stop laughing. He told me that it wasn't funny, and I became afraid that our love session would soon be over, so I… convinced him that he was okay by getting back to it slowly. He ended up having to flip me over and be on top, but we finished.

"I'd prefer to keep pretending that never happened," Eric frowned.

"One day, my dear husband, you will look back on it and laugh."

"Not anytime soon."

"Come on, let's go shower so we can sleep in a bit in the morning," I said, and removed myself from his lap.

Eric turned the movie off and made sure all the lights were out and doors were locked, while I gathered our clothes and headed for the bedroom. I tossed them in the hamper and turned on the water to let it heat up. Eric came into the bathroom a moment later and pulled me into the stall with him.

"We need to take more baths together," he said while he lathered up my hair.

"You are such a chick," I laughed.

"Are you kidding? I'm a famous professional NFL player. I'm not a chick, I'm just whipped," he joked, shampooing his own hair while I rinsed mine. "I like doing those kinds of things with you."

"Just don't start buying scented candles and bath salts."

"No worries there. I just like the tub because it's more relaxing than this shower. Plus you rub up against me more."

"But we always make a mess in the tub," I countered, grabbing the soap and lathering up my hands.

"We could prevent that. No sex while in the tub, just foreplay."

"That'll never happen, you get too excited," I said as I began to wash his hard body.

"Me? You're the one that initiates tub sex most of the time."

"Right," I said sarcastically. "You're mister horny all the time. It's hard not to initiate when you've got a hard-on in close proximity."

"I can't help that you're so hot you make me hard even when I'm just thinking about you," he said, taking the soap from me.

"That must be awkward in the locker room."

"Oh very. I think half the guys think I'm gay and you're my big sexy, gay beard," he joked.

"I love you," I said, grinning broadly.

He smiled back, and gave me a kiss.

We rinsed off and finished up our nightly routine, and by the time we crawled into bed I was ready to drift off into dreamland. I curled up next to Eric, and he pulled me close.

"I really am excited, you know," he said quietly in the dark.

"About having children?" I asked.

"Yeah. I know we're not going to try yet, but knowing that we're almost there… I'm just really eager."

"Will you promise me something?" I asked.

"Anything," he said.

"Be careful. Just please, please be careful. I know I'm not strong enough to…"

"Sookie," he interrupted, and reached over to turn on his lamp. "Nothing is going to happen to me, and nothing is going to happen to you. If you let this eat at you, then you're going to end up being afraid to go outside. That's not you. All we can do is live, okay?"

"Okay." I put on a brave face even though I was still scared inside.

"Bullshit, I know that face," he said.

Dammit.

"I'm sorry. I just can't shake this damn feeling."

"Then I promise. I promise I will be as careful as I possibly can."

"Thank you," I said, and kissed him softly.

He reached over and turned the lamp off, and we cuddled up once again.

"I'm excited too," I told him.

"I know," he whispered, and kissed the top of my head.

"Love you."

"I love you too," he said, and just before I drifted off to sleep I felt his hand rest on my stomach.

* * *

**A/N:**

Huge thank to Krismom and FarDareisMai2 for being awesome beta's!

So now you know that Eric plays for the Cowboys... yeah... ultimately, I guess it was up to me, but you try to say no when your beta is stomping her feet and pouting cause you don't like the Cowboys. Personally, I'm a Colts fan, but this whole Cowboys thing works out. It keeps Sookie in a warm climate, in the south, and near enough to her home. Also, as you'll come to see, it has a connection to a certain SVM book. Massive points to anyone who actually figures that shit out ;-)


	3. Thanksgiving with Gran

**Chapter 3 - Thanksgiving with Gran**

"Sook, I can drive. It's only a few hours," I protested as we packed clothes into the open suitcase on the bed.

"You played a game tonight, and you've got your adrenaline thing going right now, but you're going to be out as soon as we get on that highway. Forget it, I'm driving," she said in that tone that ended an argument.

She _was_ right though. I was always pumped after a good game. Usually I burned it all off with an all-night sex marathon with Sookie, but we had to leave in the morning and she needed sleep to drive. I wouldn't be able to get a good night's rest, so as soon as we got on the road I would be snoring. She knew it, I knew it; I just liked to drive. At least we weren't taking the Corvette, or the argument would have gone on much longer. We always took Sookie's Impala when we went on a trip. Not only was it better on gas, and more comfortable, but there was no way in hell that Jude was getting in my 'Vette.

"When were Alcide and Maria leaving?" I asked.

"They're probably on the road already. Maria said they preferred to do the trip while the kids slept so they don't have to stop."

"I can't wait to see Gran," I said. It may seem strange to others, but Gran was like a mother to me while I grew up. All of my values and manners came from her, and she loved me unconditionally from the moment I met her. As soon as I moved out of my aunt and uncle's house they didn't really talk to me more than once or twice a year to make sure I was still alive.

"Me either. I kind of miss Jason too," she said.

I sat on the bed next to the suitcase and watched her pack it. "Do you think I should sign some stuff tonight, or should I wait to see what he's got for me to autograph?"

She let out a snort. "Probably best to wait and see, but I wanted to ask you for a favor about that."

"Oh really?"

"While I was talking to Gran yesterday she told me that the school and the church are both struggling to raise money for repairs from that bad storm. I was thinking that maybe you could come up with something good to sign for them that they could auction off."

"Come here," I said, and pulled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her waist. "It will never stop amazing me how kind and generous you are. I love you all the more for it."

She ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me gently. I pressed her even closer and tried to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away.

"As good as it sounds, I do need to sleep tonight," she smiled.

"Right. Sleep. Driving," I mumbled, trying to will away the stiffness that was forming in my pants. "I'll sign a few things to take tomorrow, and when we get back I'll see about getting the whole team to sign a ball and a jersey."

"Thank you sweetie," she said, and tried to kiss me again, but I leaned back.

"Nope. Not possible right now."

She laughed and got off my lap. "I'll stop torturing you then."

I got off the bed and helped her finish packing, and then watched her get ready for bed. I hated that she was going to bed without me.

"Stop pouting," she told me when she came back into the bedroom from the bathroom. "Take a shower tonight, and I won't wake you until it's time to go."

"Climb in, I'm staying until you fall asleep," I said as I scooted to my side of the bed.

Sookie slid under the covers, and snuggled up to me. We talked a bit about the trip, and then she drifted off to sleep. After her breathing evened out and she began to lightly snore, I got up and took care of the autographing. I laid the pictures and cards I'd signed on the counter so Sookie would see them, and then took Jude outside. I tossed his little tennis ball for him until he got too tired to play and went back inside to curl up on his dog bed.

"Traitor," I said.

Since Jude was down for the count, I pulled on a pair of gym shorts and went to my little home gym to attempt to run off my energy. I went ahead and took a shower after that, and then played video games until my eyes got droopy. It was about four in the morning when I finally crawled into bed, curled up around my wife, and passed out.

I felt like I had my eyes closed for only a few minutes when I heard the alarm. The bed shifted as Sookie moved to turn it off, and I buried my head deeper into my pillow.

"Stay in bed," I heard her whisper in my ear. "I'll come get you in a couple of hours."

"Love you," I mumbled, and then I was out again.

I didn't know anything again until I felt Sookie gently rubbing my back. She was saying something, but it was faint. My eyes opened slightly and saw my beautiful wife lying in bed next to me, smiling.

"It's time to go," she said softly. "The car is packed, and your clothes are laid out. After you brush your teeth put your toothbrush in its container so I can add it to the luggage."

"You sound like a mother," I grinned.

"I'm sure I do," she said, and then slapped my butt. "Now get up."

I groaned as I pulled myself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom. Sookie had started making the bed as soon as I was out of it. Five minutes later I was dressed in the clothes Sookie had picked for me, a pair of black lounge pants and a white t-shirt. I grabbed my comfortable team hoodie and threw it on after handing Sookie my toothbrush and giving her a kiss.

"Can you get Jude for me?" she asked. "He still hasn't been out yet."

"Yeah," I said, feeling groggy, and started looking for Jude. He was still sleeping in his dog bed. I got him to get up and go outside, and after he did his business I got him in the car.

"Is that everything?" I asked Sookie as she came into the garage with her purse and keys. She looked as beautiful as ever, and she was just dressed in a pair of jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, her hair pulled into a ponytail.

"Yup, we're good to go," she smiled.

I lowered myself into the passenger seat and immediately laid the seat back as far as it would go. Sookie, being the amazing, thoughtful wife that she was, had laid a pillow and blanket in the car for me.

"Can we stop and get some breakfast before I fall asleep again?" I asked. "I just know if I don't eat something now I won't be able to stay out of Gran's cooking when we get there."

"Sure, I'll swing through the drive thru," she said.

After three of those little breakfast sandwiches and a couple hash browns washed down with some OJ, I rolled over and fell asleep again. I woke up a few times on to way to hear Sookie singing along to REO Speedwagon, Journey, or The Beatles but each time I just smiled and went back to sleep.

Just as I was really starting to dream, I felt something warm and wet on my face. I wasn't sure why Dream Sookie had decided to lick me instead of kiss me, but I went with it and made a noise of satisfaction. Then I felt it again, but caught a whiff of the breath. It was rank… like…

"Jude!" I yelled as I jolted awake.

He barked and shot into the back seat again, and I sat up and started searching for those wet wipes Sookie always kept in the car. I found them in the glove box and was wiping my face off when Sookie got into the driver's seat. I looked around, and finally realized that we were at a gas station.

"Good morning," she greeted and leaned across the console to give me a kiss. "What's with the wet wipes?"

"Jude thought it would be nice to French my face. Where are we?"

"About ten minutes outside Shreveport. I needed to use the bathroom and get a coffee refill. You need to go?"

"Yeah, I'll be right back," I said, and went into the station to use the restroom. When I got back into the car Sookie was talking on the phone. I listened to her side of the conversation.

"He just got back in. Yeah. Okay, Gran. We will. See you soon," she said, and then hung up and looked at me. "Gran's excited, and she said she made peanut butter pie."

"Oh hell. How fast can we get there? I can already feel the sugar coma setting in."

Sookie laughed and started the car, but I stopped her before she put it in reverse.

"Can I drive the rest of the way? I'm not going to fall asleep again, and you need a break."

"That sounds nice," she said, and unbuckled her seatbelt. We switched places, and the first thing I did was push the seat back.

"Damn you have short legs," I laughed.

"Shut it," she said while pushing her seat forward.

We arrived at our old home an hour later, and left the luggage in the car in favor of running in and seeing Gran. She met us on the porch and wrapped her arms around us both. I breathed deep as she hugged us. Gran always smelled like a mix of fresh flowers and pie. She smelled like home.

"Let me look at you," she said as she released us, and took a step back.

"We're healthy, Gran. Three square meals a day, I promise," Sookie said, and then jumped forward to give her another hug. "Now what can I help with?"

"Pie," Gran said, and they went into the house.

"I'll get the bags and be right in," I called after them, and turned to find Jude peeing on the tire of the car. "Jude! Acres and acres of land and you piss on _our_ car?"

He took off to sniff around the house and I popped the trunk and carried our stuff in the house. Walking into Sookie's old room was always like walking into the past. It hadn't changed a bit since our high school days. Her old posters were still on the walls, her childhood books still on the shelves. She'd even left her memory board on the wall. I sat on the bed, picked up her old pillow, and breathed in the smell. Gran had probably freshly washed it, but it was still the smell I remembered.

"Feeling nostalgic?" Sookie said from the doorway behind me. I set the pillow aside and she straddled my lap.

"A bit. This room never changes. I feel old," I said.

"Wanna make out in it tonight like we used to? We can keep the door closed since we're married now, and Gran has hearing aides that she'll take out when she goes to bed."

"I would love that, but I'm not promising anything. I may be too full to move later."

"Oh yeah, there's that," she said. "Well, we're here for two nights, if we can't move tonight, there's always tomorrow night."

"I like the way you think," I said, and pressed my lips against hers.

"Save it for later, you two," Gran said, causing us to break apart and laugh. "Eric, Jason will be over in a couple of hours, and I was wondering if you could help him fix the roof of the tool shed."

"Sure thing, Gran. Is there anything else that needs fixing?" I asked.

"The water heater has been giving me a bit of trouble actually. Would you mind taking a look at it?"

"'Course not. I'll check the railing on those porch steps too. It seemed loose to me."

"Thank you dear," she said to me, and then looked at Sookie. "Sookie, can you come help me in the kitchen?"

"I'll be right there," Sookie said, and after Gran left she planted a hungry kiss on my lips.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"You being you. I love how much you look after her," she said.

"I couldn't not look after her," I said.

"I know, and it's why I love you."

Sookie spent the rest of the day in the kitchen with Gran and Jude, while Jason and I worked on various things for Gran. First was the roof of the tool shed, which was an easy fix, and then I got the railing on the porch sturdy again. Jason found a rotting windowsill outside one of the living room windows, so we took care of that too. The water heater was shot, and I figured Gran had probably gotten used to cold showers because the hot water only ran for about five minutes. While Jason and I were in town getting supplies for the windowsill, I ordered her a new one and paid for it. I didn't tell Sookie, but I knew she wouldn't mind. It was a new forty-gallon tank, and Gran would probably kick me when it came in, but luckily I would be back in Texas when that happened. Jason and I just told her that we had to order a part for it that Jason would install when it came in.

By the time we finished up everything it was nearly dinnertime, and I was starving. Just as Gran called Jason and I inside, my phone rang. It was Alcide.

"Hey, what's up?" I answered.

"Hey man. Are y'all back in Bon Temps?" he asked, and he sounded tense.

"Yeah, we're just about to sit down to dinner at Gran's. Everything okay?"

"Just got into a huge blowout with my dad. Would it be cool if we came over there? We haven't eaten yet and the kids are getting hungry. We'll get a hotel, but I know how Gran cooks and…"

"Come on over, Alcide. Gran made a ton of food, and she'd be happy to see everyone. Don't worry about the hotel either. Gran will insist you stay here."

"Thanks, we're on our way," he said, relief in his voice.

"See you soon," I said, and hung up.

I went inside to find Gran and Sookie setting the table.

"Gran, would it be okay if you set four more places?" I asked.

"Well there's more than enough food, but for who?" she asked.

"Alcide, Maria, and the kids," I said.

"What happened?" Sookie asked.

"Alcide and his dad got into it and they left. They haven't had dinner yet and Alcide remembered Gran's cooking," I explained.

"I insist that they stay here tonight," Gran said. "Jason's room is big, and we can pull out that air mattress I bought for the kids."

"I think they'll really appreciate that, Gran," I told her.

"Sookie, will you and Eric go air out the room? I'll keep dinner warm until they get here."

"Okay," Sookie said, and took off her apron before following me upstairs. "It's gotta be bad if they left before the kids ate," she whispered when we walked into Jason's old room.

"I think it may have been. Let's not focus on that when they get here though. We'll make sure they have a good holiday."

"You're right. Can you go into the storage closet and grab that air mattress?"

"Yeah."

We opened the windows in the room to air it out, changed the bed linens, and got the mattress aired up. Just as we were coming down the stairs we heard Gran outside greeting Alcide. They all came in, and after a round of hugs and handshakes I helped Alcide take their luggage upstairs.

"I can't thank you enough, man. I think I ruined Thanksgiving for them," he said before we went back downstairs.

"No, you made it better. Those kids are going to have it much easier here where they don't have to dress up and be perfect. They can eat more than what the servant portioned on their plate, and they don't have to have something they think is gross. This is a great house to grow up in, even just for a night."

"You and Sookie really had it lucky growing up, you know that?" he said, patting me on the shoulder.

"Believe me, I know."

Dinner was fantastic. The food was delicious, and the company was great. Jackson and Janice took a bit to relax, but when they felt the laid back atmosphere in comparison to their grandparent's house they treated it like home. After we were all stuffed with turkey, stuffing, noodles, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, and pie, we went outside to watch the kids run around in the yard for a while. Gran, Sookie, and Maria cleaned up the kitchen and Jason brought me a pile of stuff to sign.

"You know, if you weren't my brother in law…"

"I know, but you love my sister," he said.

"How much money do you get for this shit?" Alcide asked.

"Quite a bit, depending on the item. I used to keep the money, but Gran made me feel guilty for it, so now I donate it to the Salvation Army," he said, shocking the hell out of me.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, I didn't really have use for it, and Gran said it was wrong and that I needed to get myself straight with the Lord or some shit, so I started donating it. Helps me out on my taxes anyway," he shrugged.

"You'll never cease to amaze me Jason," I said, and handed him the pile of freshly autographed stuff.

"Thanks man," he said. "I'll see y'all again tomorrow."

Jason hopped in his truck and left, and then Sookie and Maria came out of the house with cold beer for us. They sat in front of us on the steps and we all just relaxed while we watched the kids run off their energy.

"Savor this when you have kids," Maria said out of the blue. "It feels like just yesterday that we were bringing Jackson home from the hospital, and now he's about to start school. They grow up too fast."

Sookie grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and then Maria and Alcide went out to grab the kids and took them inside to get them ready for bed.

"Anything need cleaned up?" I asked.

"Nope. Us girls took care of it. We better go in and tell Gran goodnight though. I think she gets tired earlier now."

Alcide and Maria gave the kids a bath and put them in bed, and then we all sat on the porch, drinking beer and talking. It was a good, relaxing night with family. Even Jude was relaxing after being treated to Thanksgiving scraps. After about an hour we turned in and Sookie and I discovered that it wasn't as easy to fit comfortably in her bed as it used to be.

"This is all so strange," she said as we cuddled close.

"What is?"

"Think of the last time we stayed here back in high school. Who'd have thought back then that in almost ten years we'd have Alcide and his wife and their children here with us and think of them as family?"

"Definitely not me," I said truthfully. "But I'm glad it worked out this way. I've always known he's a good guy, and Maria's a sweetheart. It's no wonder we all became friends."

"I'm glad it worked out this way too. I feel really lucky to have such amazing family and friends, and even luckier to have you as my husband."

"So I'm a catch, huh?"

She chuckled. "Most definitely."

"You are too, you know," I said.

"Oh, I know," she said, and I lightly tickled her side, causing her to erupt in giggles which became pleads for me to stop.

"It was the pie, wasn't it?"

"Yup," she breathed. "Never should have had that second piece."

"And I shouldn't have had that fourth."

"Good thing Gran made so much, huh?"

"Or not good, considering," I laughed.

"Time to sleep it off?" she asked.

"Yes it is," I said, and pulled her to me again.

The next morning we both woke up from the sound of little feet running down the stairs. It was an interesting sound, and I held Sookie just a bit tighter.

"I suppose we should get up," Sookie said. "We need to coordinate showers."

"Why don't Alcide and I go to Jason's and use his shower. We'll take the kids with us, and it'll give y'all time to shower without house full of people turning water off and on for various reasons."

"That sounds great," she smiled. "We better go get that done."

An hour and half later, we were all back at Gran's having a light breakfast. Alcide and Maria were heading down to her parent's place for the night and then going back home, so after breakfast they loaded up and headed out.

Sookie and I spent the afternoon at the church and the school, donating the items I'd signed and setting up bigger things to auction off. I was going to get a football and jersey signed by the whole team, and committed Alcide and I to be auctioned off to give throwing lessons to kids. I even promised to look into securing tickets to a future game for the auction.

By the time we got back home for supper, both Sookie and I were feeling pretty good about ourselves. We had a quiet supper of leftovers with Gran, and as Sookie and I shared the last piece of peanut butter pie straight from the pan we went ahead and told Gran about our decision to have kids.

"Eric and I have something to tell you," Sookie began, and Gran perked up a bit.

"Oh?"

"After the first of the year, we're going to start trying to get pregnant," I said.

"Why after the first of the year?" Gran asked, but she was smiling.

"Well, Eric will, hopefully, still be in playoffs at that time, but the season will nearly be over. And I still want to finish out the year, which is most likely to happen if we don't get pregnant until after the new year," Sookie explained.

"And we're not expecting to get pregnant right away or anything. We know it's not magic like that," I said.

"No, but you two are young and healthy still. I can't believe you're finally going to give me great-grandchildren," she laughed. "It's about time."

"It's a wonder Jason hasn't given them to you yet," I said.

Gran sighed. "That boy just gets more naive has he ages." She stood up and slowly came around the table to kiss us both. "Goodnight, my sweet children. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Gran," we both said, and I watched with concern as she walked down the hall more slowly than normal.

"You worried about her too?" Sookie asked.

"Yeah. I don't like seeing her getting weaker."

"Neither do I," she said sadly, and then took a deep breath and stood up. "Let's clean up these dishes for her."

We didn't say anything more about Gran while we did the dishes. I think that neither one of us wanted to imagine her not being around in the future, but the truth was that she was really slowing down, and eventually she would need help. Then and there I decided that I would pay for a home nurse before putting Gran in a home, but I didn't bring it up to Sookie, knowing the idea would upset her.

When the dishes were dried and put away we went outside to sit on the porch swing. Sookie wrapped Gran's old afghan around us and curled up next to me with her feet tucked under her while I used my legs to rock the swing back and forth slightly.

"I made an appointment with my doctor," Sookie said after a few moments of silence.

"What for?"

"Just a check-up to make sure everything is good to go. Am I being paranoid?"

"No," I said, pulling her closer to me. "Should I get one too?"

"No, you just had your physical for football and everything was fine. We only have to worry about you if we don't get knocked up after a few months."

"I'm not worried. I have super sperm," I laughed, remembering the scare we had during our junior year of college. Sookie slapped my shoulder lightly, knowing just what I was talking about.

"That was _not_ funny," she said.

"Oh come on, we can laugh about it now. You took your pills on a timer and still freaked out."

"Well what about you mister super sperm? I remember when I told you it was a possibility. All the color drained from your face and you fainted."

"I didn't faint, I fell on the bed and closed my eyes for five minutes."

She laughed at that, and then shifted to lay her head in my lap face up. I ran my fingers through her hair while my other hand rested on her stomach.

"We would have figured it out if you were," I said quietly. We hadn't really talked about it back then since we immediately went for at home tests and every one had come back negative. After that we chose to just move on and not dwell on it. Sookie also made me wear condoms for a month. Evil little pieces of latex.

"I know, but we weren't ready for parenthood then. We would have gotten through it, but juggling that and college and then you being thrust into the world of the NFL? I don't even want to think of how different things would be right now."

"I love you, my fairy," I said, knowing it would take her mind away from where it was headed.

"I love you too, my Viking," she smiled.

"You want to see if we can do it without making any noise?" I asked.

"Hell yes," she said, and jumped off the swing.

I got up quickly and made sure Jude was inside before locking up the house and following Sookie into the bedroom.

The no-noise thing lasted for twenty minutes. Sookie caved first, but not to be outdone, she made me follow shortly after.

We drove home the next afternoon, sad to be leaving Gran, but looking forward to starting the next part of our lives. Operation make-a-baby was set to go off in just over a month, and I couldn't have been more excited.

* * *

**A/N:**

That there was the last chapter of pure non-drama for now. The angst starts up in the next one, and again, let me assure you that it will *NOT* be relationship angst. These two are a very strong couple, and any kind of relationship angst simply wouldn't make sense. I hope everyone will stick with me through it all, and I promise you won't be disappointed :)

*hugs* to Krismom who beta'd this for me. You rock sweetie!

Chapter 4 is almost done, so hopefully it'll be up soon!


	4. There Is No Reason For My Fear

**Chapter 4 - There Is No Reason For My Fear**

Two weeks after Thanksgiving at Gran's, Eric was playing a home game that Maria and I attended. The kids were with Maria's sister, so she and I were enjoying the game from one of the high-up VIP suites where it was warm.

I loved watching the games up close normally, but sometimes it was nice to see it all from above. Especially were I could have a nice glass of wine while watching the game. The game was just starting again after halftime, and we were ahead, so it was all smiles in the room.

It was hard to really see the guys from as high up as we were, but always knew which one was Eric. Those big numbers on the jerseys helped, but it was never hard for me to spot him. Mostly we watched the big screen though.

"Do you and Eric want to join us for a little dancing after the game?" Maria asked.

"I'm up for it, but I'll have to make sure Eric wants to," I said.

"Great! I love getting out of that house and doing adult things."

"I'll bet you do. Hey, when I have a baby we can get together during the day more often."

"Ha! That's nice of you, Sookie, but believe me, you won't want to do that until that baby is at least two," she laughed.

"Good to know," I said.

Since I was talking to Maria, neither of us was focusing on the game, so when everyone in the room gasped and stood up, I quickly did too and looked out the window. There was a group of people on the field, members of both teams, coaches… I couldn't see Eric.

Suddenly I saw Alcide run out onto the field towards the group. I tried to breathe deep, and wished Eric would step out of the crowd so I could see that he was okay.

"Sookie," Maria said gently, and took my hand. I looked at her, and saw her staring at the big screen. My eyes immediately focused on it, and I gasped. Eric was the one on the ground. His helmet was off. The camera showed the medic over him, trying to get him to wake up, but he was out cold.

**Maria POV**

Sookie held my hand a little tighter when she realized that Eric was the injured one. I watched the video show Alcide standing next to him, getting information out of the second medic, and then he ran out of frame. A minute later my cell rang.

"Alcide?"

"Eric's unconscious, and he's not coming to. They're going to take him to the hospital, but the ambulance can't wait for Sookie to get down here. I need you to drive her there. You'll have a police escort."

"Okay," I said, absorbing the information and trying to figure out the best way to tell Sookie.

"Maria?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too baby."

I ended the call, and then focused on what was happening. They were moving Eric to a stretcher. Sookie was repeating under her breath, "Get up, get up, please get up, get up, Eric, get up."

"Why are they putting him on a stretcher?"

"Sookie, Alcide just called me. Eric is unconscious, so they're taking him to the hospital. The ambulance has to leave right away, so they're not going to wait on us to get down there. I'm going to drive you there, okay?"

"Let's go," she said, and then we were out the door.

Sookie was in a focused state of mind the whole way to the hospital. It was like there was only one thing she had to do, and that was to get to Eric. I didn't attempt to calm or reassure her because she was so focused. When we got to the hospital I dropped Sookie off at the emergency entrance and quickly found a parking spot before running inside.

I found Sookie sitting in the waiting room with her head in her hands. She looked up when I approached.

"They said he's with the doctor and told me to wait," she said in a steady voice.

"I'll wait with you," I said and sat next to her. "Do you want coffee or anything?"

She shook her head. "What if this is my dream, Maria? I didn't see what happened on the field. I have no idea how bad it is."

"I didn't see either hon, but I doubt this is your dream. Men don't die playing football."

"No, but they get paralyzed," she said quietly.

I didn't know what to say, so I gently rubbed her back for a little while, hoping it would soothe her. I had no idea how to comfort her. If it were me in her position, I don't think anything could have comforted me. Alcide called me after an hour, so I went outside to talk to him. He asked how Eric was, and when I told him that we hadn't heard anything he said he was on his way. Twenty minutes later he came rushing into the hospital and when he found us he immediately gave me, and then Sookie a hug.

"Still nothing?" he asked.

Sookie shook her head. "What happened, Alcide?"

He stood and pulled a chair over so he could sit in front of us. "I was on the sideline at the time, and I didn't see the initial impact, but the force of the hit made his helmet fly off."

"His helmet came off? That's not supposed to happen!" Sookie said, and I could tell she was about to fly off the handle on someone, so I took her hand again.

"I know, and I looked at the thing myself. The chinstrap was busted. It's going to be looked into, and if the helmet was faulty the team owner will have to pay a fine. When Eric came down, his head hit another helmet, and I think he hit it again when he landed. He was out cold when I got to him."

"He'll be fine, right?" Sookie asked. "It was just a bump on the head."

"Sookie, he was standing still when he got hit by a three-hundred and fifty pound guy full force. That's not just a bump on the head."

I kicked him lightly with my foot, and he looked at me. I gave him a warning look, and he realized his mistake.

"But we should wait and see what the doctors say. I'm no expert or anything."

Sookie took a deep breath, and put her head in her hands again. Alcide tried to reassure her, but he quickly found out what I already had; that the only thing that would reassure her now was seeing her husband.

**Sookie POV**

After almost two hours of waiting, a woman in a white coat finally came up to us.

"Mrs. Northman?" she asked, and I shot up out of my chair.

"Yes?"

"Hello, I'm doctor Ludwig, I've been with your husband since they brought him in," she said, and offered her hand, which I shook impatiently.

"Is Eric okay? Is he awake?" I asked, feeling frantic. I'd been in a state of complete, total, consuming worry for hours, and I just wanted to see him.

"Mr. Northman hit his head very hard when he was tackled. There was some brain swelling that we had to relieve, but he was hit awful hard." She was trying to ease me into the bad news, I could tell.

"Doc, with all due respect, just tell me. Don't sugar coat it," I said.

"Your husband is in a coma," she said solemnly.

"Coma?" I breathed. Jesus, when did my life turn into a soap opera?

"He's stable, and we have no reason to believe he won't wake up. It's just waiting now."

"How long does it take?" I asked.

"There's no typical time. Every person is different. It could be anywhere from a few days, to several months. Because of the area of his brain that was hit, we're not expecting any issues regarding motor functions, memory, and things like that. When he wakes up, he'll probably be a bit weak, but otherwise fine."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course, I'll have a nurse take you to his room. She'll explain some things for you," she said, and then put her hand on my shoulder. "Mrs. Northman, I have every reason to believe he'll be just fine."

I nodded, trying desperately to believe her. All I wanted was to see him. Alcide and Maria said they'd wait there for me, and then Dr. Ludwig led me to a nurse's station where she introduced me to a nurse named Holly, who then led me to Eric's room.

As soon as I saw him, I almost burst into tears. He just looked like he was sleeping. I could see a bit of a bandage taped to the back of his head, but other than that he looked fine. He completely dwarfed the hospital bed, and looked so… out of place. There were various wires attached to him, so I asked the nurse about them. She explained what each of them monitored, and assured me that if I accidentally pulled one off it wouldn't harm him.

"We're pretty lenient on visiting hours for coma patients, so come anytime, and stay as long as you want. The most important thing you can do is talk. Many people believe a familiar voice can help bring them out of it," she said gently. "If you have any questions just come to the nurse's station."

After she left the room I just stood there, staring at my husband. Surprisingly, I didn't cry. I'm not sure if it was just because I knew I couldn't break down when he wasn't able to support me, or if I was just overwhelmed, but I didn't shed a tear. I pushed the hospital chair up to the side of his bed, sat in it, and took his hand. My eyes never left his face. It was as if I was trying to will him to wake up.

**Eric POV**

The first thing I remember was a blue haze all around me. Then I felt the warmth. I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't cooperate.

_Hello? Is anyone there? Sookie? _

To myself it was like I had spoken, but I knew my lips hadn't moved. What the fuck was going on? The last thing I remembered was being on the field at the game. I was about to throw the ball, and then… black. Now I couldn't move and all I could see was a blue haze. I tried to focus on my body. It felt like I was lying down. There was the feeling of a light blanket on top of me, but it wasn't soft.

I mentally went up my body, making sure that I was feeling something on all parts, and then I got to my hands. The left one felt like it was being held. I tried to squeeze or wiggle my fingers, but couldn't.

Then I heard the voice of the person holding my hand.

"Eric."

It was Sookie's voice, and she sounded sad.

_Sookie? Where am I? What happened?_

She didn't answer. Could she even hear me? I felt her squeeze my hand, and I tried again to squeeze back.

_I can feel you. I can hear you. _

"You have to wake up," she said. "I can't believe I'm going to say it, but come on… The Legendary Eric Northman in a coma? Kids' hearts everywhere will be crushed."

Coma. Coma?

"This isn't right. You aren't meant to be in a hospital bed. You weren't made for this."

Hospital bed. Jesus fuck, I was in a coma. How hard had I been hit?

"The doctor says that you could wake up in a matter of days or that it could take months. You can't take months, Eric. I had an early Christmas present for you, and I was going to give it to you tomorrow."

_I'm trying, Sookie. I can't move. _

"I guess I can just tell you now. I took my last birth control pill this morning. I didn't see the point in renewing, so I was going to wear some new lingerie and tell you that we could start trying. That's reason enough to wake up right?"

_You are reason enough. I wish I could show you how happy you've just made me. I love you so much._

I felt Sookie's soft lips press against my hand, and then I heard a chair scoot. I felt her warm breath on my cheek, and then she whispered in my ear.

"I love you, and I need you. Please wake up."

My heart broke. I'd never heard her sound so sad.

_I'm trying. I'm trying so hard._

I attempted to squeeze her hand again, and then I felt her lips press gently against mine and focused my energy there, but my lips wouldn't pucker, wouldn't kiss her back. She never stopped holding my hand, and I could feel that she was sitting back down.

I heard a knock, and felt Sookie let go of my hand. The feet of the chair scratched against the floor again and I could tell that Sookie was moving away from me. A door opened, and Alcide's voice floated through the room.

"What can we do, Sookie?" he asked.

"Come in and see him. The nurse said it's good for him to hear familiar voices," she replied, and I assumed she had begun to walk back towards me as she said the second part because her voice got louder.

I heard more sets of feet come near, and the blue haze I saw got dimmer; the warmth lessened.

"What are all the wires for?" Maria asked.

"The nurse said they're just to monitor things, and that we shouldn't worry about knocking any off. It's not like he's being kept alive by a machine, he's just sleeping for a while," Sookie explained, and even in my state I could tell that she was forcing her confidence in the situation.

"What can we do for you?" Alcide asked. "You want us to stick around until you're ready to go?"

"I'm not leaving," Sookie said firmly.

"Okay, then would you like us to bring you some things from home?" Maria asked, attempting to calm Sookie down before she got upset at the suggestion that she leave.

I heard Sookie let out a breath, and then she picked up my hand.

"That would be nice of you, but I'm sure I'll have to go home eventually to shower. I can just grab some things then. Can you bring my car in the morning?"

"We can go get it right now. It's at the stadium, right?" Alcide asked.

"Yes, so is Eric's."

_The fuck if Alcide is driving my baby!_

"But don't touch it. I'll go there tomorrow and drive it home," Sookie insisted.

_That's my girl._

"Okay, how about tomorrow Alcide and I come get you and take you to the stadium. I'll drive your car to your house and you can drive Eric's, then you'll have yours," Maria said.

"That sounds good," Sookie replied, and I felt her thumb stroking the back of my hand. I tried again to move my fingers, but again, nothing happened. "Can you guys take care of Jude for a while?"

"Of course," Alcide said. "The kids love him."

"Thank you, guys," Sookie said, and then I felt something wet on my hand. She was crying.

_Don't cry, Sookie. I can't stand it when you cry._

"Don't cry, Sookie. You know Eric can't stand it," Maria said.

_Thank you, Maria._

"I know. I'll stop. I can't believe this is happening," Sookie said.

"We'll help you get through it. I'll bet Eric will be awake before you know it, and everything will be fine," Alcide told her.

"I'm really glad Eric and I have you two."

"We know y'all would do the same if it were us," Maria said. "We'll take off now and come back around eight okay?"

"Okay," Sookie said, and set my hand back down before I heard what sounded like her giving Maria and Alcide both a hug. Their footsteps retreated and the door opened and closed again. As soon as they were gone, the blue haze was brighter again, and the warmth came back.

Sookie took a deep breath, and picked up my hand again. This time, she sat on the edge of the bed, and the curve of her hip touched my leg.

I was so focused on trying to move any part of my body to let her know that I was trying, that I didn't hear the door open.

"Mrs. Northman?" a woman asked.

Again, the color got dimmer. It was only at its brightest when it was just Sookie with me.

"Doctor," Sookie said, and got up.

"Did the nurse explain things for you?" the doctor asked.

"Yes."

"Good. I just wanted to have a chat with you. I understand that you're going to want to stay here with your husband, and that is great, but you have to remember yourself and your own health. You need rest, and you need to stay well because he will need you when he wakes up. Visiting every day is a good thing, and if there is any change at all while you aren't here, we will call you. But you should go home and get some rest at night."

"I know that you feel like you have to tell me this, but I promise I get it, and I'm sure if this coma lasts a while I'll be forced to start going home to rest, but right now? Right now I'm staying right here, next to my husband. We haven't been apart since we were eight years old, and I'm not about to start now."

There was a pause, and then the doctor said, "Okay."

After the doc left I heard two light thuds from somewhere next to my bed, and then I felt the bed shift a bit as Sookie climbed onto it. She lifted my arm and settled her head onto my shoulder. One of her legs hitched up over both of mine, and her arm stretched out over my chest.

I wanted nothing more than to hold her tightly to me, but I was a prisoner in my body. Instead, I sang to her.

_I can't fight this feeling any longer,_

_And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow._

_What started out as friendship has grown stronger._

_I only wish I had the strength to let is show._

Even though I knew she couldn't hear me, I hoped she would feel some comfort from it. Then, amazingly, a moment later, I heard her singing to me softly.

"I tell myself that I can't hold out forever. I say there is no reason for my fear. Cause I feel so secure when we're together. You give my life direction, you make everything so clear."

If I were able, I would have wept.

* * *

**A/N:**

I hope everyone realizes now what I meant about it not being relationship angst. They will hold a strong connection through all of this, I promise. I also thought I should mention that them having a baby is not part of the angst. A few expressed concern that this would be a hard-to-make-a-baby story. It won't be. Also, there won't be any amnesia. That storyline has been done, and done, and done better. Hell, I've even done it before, lol. All parties will be remembering everything.

You all have Krismom to thank for this coming out so soon. I just sent it to her like an hour ago. She's a ninja!


	5. It Means No Worries

**Chapter 5 - It Means No Worries**

It had been a whole month, and Eric was still in a coma. I was back to sleeping at home every night, but I still cried myself to sleep often. Christmas and New Years had come and gone, and I refused to celebrate them. Especially New Years. That was when I was going to stop taking my pills so we could begin attempting to start our family.

The day after the accident I called the school and asked for time off, which had turned into a resignation after they found a good replacement. My days had become entirely about routine. I woke early, had breakfast, took care of Jude, went to the hospital to read to Eric or talk to him until lunch, which I had in the cafeteria at the hospital. Then I was back with Eric until suppertime, which I usually had with Alcide and Maria at their house. After supper I sat with Eric until it was time to go home, where I cried myself to sleep, and then got up to do it all over again.

It was a sad existence, but that was fine by me. It had gotten easier after the press stopped bugging me about how Eric was doing, and stopped hanging out at the hospital trying to get a statement.

A week ago I had found out that Alcide called Gran and told her about my zombie-like existence, and she talked Jason into driving her to Texas. They were due in by suppertime, and I hated that I had to change my routine, even for Gran.

I said goodbye to Eric when I left for supper and explained that Gran would be coming to see him tomorrow. Leaving him for the night was always the hardest part. I hated that he was alone all night.

His head was healed now, and Doctor Ludwig said his brain activity was excellent, especially during the hours that I was with him. I'd developed a nice relationship with the nurses, and they let me do a lot for him. I shaved him once a week, and a physical therapist showed me some exercises to do while I talked to him that would help his blood flow, and keep his muscles from weakening too much.

On the drive home Jason called to tell me that he and Gran were almost to the house. Suddenly I felt the need to get there faster. It was like I knew that the only person who could comfort me right now was my grandmother.

I was right. As soon as I saw her I broke down in tears. Jason made himself scarce while Gran took me up to mine and Eric's bedroom, and sat with me until I'd cried myself to sleep.

I slept through the night, and woke to the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls permeating the house. Groggily, I got up and did my morning routine of a shower and getting dressed, careful not to spend too much time staring at Eric's things, and even more careful not to touch any of them. After I made myself presentable I went down to the kitchen to find Gran washing up some dishes while Jason was eating what was probably his third helping of the homemade rolls.

"Good morning, dear," Gran said as I poured myself a cup of coffee.

I just nodded and sat down next to Jason where a place was set for me.

"Are we going to see Eric after breakfast?" Jason asked.

"Yes," I said, and that was all I said until it was time to go.

I drove us all to the hospital and said my normal greetings to all the familiar faces on the way to Eric's room. He still looked the same. There was no change at all. It was like he was a rock stuck in a stream. Everything around him moving and changing, but he remained the same.

"Good morning, Eric," I said, and kissed his unmoving lips. "Gran and Jason are here. Gran made cinnamon rolls this morning. I can't wait until you wake up so she can make some for you too."

Gran followed my lead, and talked to Eric like he was conscious while Jason slowly inched out of the room. That was okay though, I knew some people couldn't handle it.

At lunchtime, instead of going to the cafeteria, I took Gran and Jason home to eat so Gran could take a nap. Jason opted to stay at the house the rest of the day, so after I ate a quick sandwich I went back to the hospital.

"Hello Holly," I said as I passed the nurse's station. She was always there when I got back from lunch during the week.

"Hey Sookie. It's nice to see more people visiting Mr. Northman," she smiled, and I stopped.

"Is someone with him now?" I asked. Usually it was just me, Alcide, and Maria that visited. Most of the team and the coaches came by a lot the first couple weeks but they were on the tail end of a season with their quarterback in a coma so they didn't come around as much now.

"Yeah, she said she's his cousin," Holly said, and my brows furrowed in confusion.

"Eric doesn't have any cousins. His only Aunt never had children."

"Do you want me to call security?" she asked.

"Oh no, I'll just go see who it is. I'm sure it's just an old friend or something who thought she had to say she was family," I said, but inside, I was annoyed.

"Okay, you just hit the call button if you need me," Holly said with a nod of her head.

"Thanks Holly," I smiled, and walked to Eric's room.

There was a woman with long, beautiful brown hair sitting in _my_ chair, holding _my _husband's hand.

"Who are you?" I asked.

The woman stood and turned quickly, and when she saw who I was she almost looked… guilty.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't stay away any longer," she said. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, but she was still beautiful.

"That didn't answer my question," I said. She still hadn't let go of Eric's hand.

"My name is Felicia. I'm a cheerleader for the team. I tried to stay away to give you time with him, but I couldn't do it any longer." She began to cry again, and I resisted the urge to punch her in the face.

"Are you a friend of Eric's?" I asked as calmly as possible.

She looked back and him, and then looked at me again. "We didn't want you to find out this way," she said quietly.

Oh, _hell_ no.

**Eric POV**

There was never a moment that I wished I could move more. Felicia had come into my room shortly after my warmth left with Sookie, and she immediately started spouting off crazy shit. She kept saying that we were supposed to be together, and that she wished we could still go on our vacation to Italy in the summer.

The best I could guess in the hour that she'd been there was that she was a fucking nutter. Sookie and I were planning a trip to Italy, and I'd mentioned it to some of the guys, but I had no clue how she knew about it. I didn't even remember what she looked like, and I didn't know her name until she told Sookie what it was. Now she was telling my wife that she and I were having a torrid love affair and were planning to tell her after Christmas, and she wouldn't let go of my fucking hand. Jesus, when did our life turn into a bad Lifetime movie?

I had every confidence that Sookie would know Felicia was lying, I was just worried that Felicia's crazy could turn violent.

"Get. Out." I heard Sookie say in the meanest, coldest tone I've ever heard from anyone.

"I know it's hard to hear, but what we have between us…"

"The only thing you and _my husband _have between you will be a restraining order. Now get the fuck out of this room."

Felicia dropped my hand, and it was now hanging off the side of the bed uncomfortably, but at least she stopped touching me. But now I didn't know where she was at in the room, and neither one of them had made a sound. Then I heard Sookie's voice.

"If you lay a finger on me I will be pressing assault charges on top of getting a restraining order. Either way, I think your career with the Cowboys is over."

Felicia laughed. "You think you can get a restraining order? Do you really think a judge is going to believe that an NFL player wouldn't be having an affair with a cheerleader?"

"I don't care if I have to hire a bodyguard for the sole purpose of keeping you away from us, you're not getting near my husband again," Sookie said in a low, steady voice. I wished she would yell so that someone else would come into the room.

There was another pause, and then Felicia spoke again. "You know, I would stay quiet and go away for the right price."

Fuck, she wasn't just a nutter, she was an extortionist.

"You won't get a fucking dime out of us," Sookie yelled, finally pushed over the edge of her anger. Moments later I heard the door open and the nurse I'd come to know as Holly spoke.

"Everything okay in here Sookie?" she asked.

"Holly, I'm going to need you to call security after all," Sookie said.

The door closed as one of them left, and I waited for someone else to speak so I knew who was still in the room. Sookie was there because the blue haze was, but I wasn't sure if Felicia ran away or if Holly left to call security.

"You should really just pay me," Felicia said quickly, and I kept hearing the shuffling of feet, like one of them was trying to move past the other, but the other kept getting in the way.

"Not a chance," Sookie said.

"Get out of my way," Felicia said in a panicked tone.

"No."

The door opened again, and it sounded like a lot of people stepped in the room. Then Felicia was yelling, but the sound of her voice faded as she was taken out of the room. I felt my hand being picked up and placed gently back on the bed, and then Sookie spoke to me.

"I'll be right back. I need to tell them what happened. I love you," she said, and kissed my cheek before she left the room, and when she did I was plunged into blackness and cold again.

I had no good perception of time while I was alone, so I'm not sure how long it was until Sookie came back, but when she did I could feel the energy of her presence along with the blue and the warmth. She picked up my hand like she always did, and then she started talking to me calmly, like nothing out of the ordinary just happened.

"So, that cheerleader is a nutter."

_My thoughts exactly._

"The hospital security called the cops, and the cheerleading coach came in too. Turns out Felicia assaulted one of the other girls and the cops had been looking for her already. She thought she'd take this opportunity to make me think she was having an affair with you so I would pay her to keep her trap shut and leave. I suppose she was low on money and couldn't make a fast enough exit. When did our life get so dramatic?"

_Thank you for not believing her._

"I want you to know that I didn't believe her for a second. Not even a millisecond. There's no way in hell you would ever cheat on me, or even think about cheating on me. I love you, and I trust you, and I know it would be the same for you."

_Yes, it would._

The door opened again, and I heard Holly's voice.

"I just wanted to give you that information we talked about," she said.

_What information?_

"Thanks, Holly. I really appreciate it," Sookie told her.

"No problem, Sookie. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will, no worries."

_Hakuna Matata._

Holly left the room, and I was finally alone with my wife again.

**Sookie POV**

If my world was already flipped upside down because my husband was in a coma, it had just done three backflips and fallen over.

When I was giving my account of the events with Felicia to the police I started feeling dizzy, and almost collapsed. Holly was there with me, so as soon as the police got what they needed she took me to an exam room.

"What have you eaten today?" she asked.

"I had a cinnamon roll this morning, a big one, and I had a sandwich just before I came back. What do you think is wrong?"

"Your blood sugar should be fine. It could just be the extreme stress of this situation. Have you been having any stomach aches or anything like that?"

"No, I feel fine physically," I said.

"When was your last period?" she asked.

I thought hard for a few seconds. "It was before Thanksgiving. With everything that's happened I haven't even been thinking about it. What does that mean? Should I get checked out?"

"Sookie, you might be pregnant," she said cautiously.

"No," I laughed. "Not possible. I took my last birth control pill the day of the accident, and we obviously haven't had sex since then."

"The pill isn't a hundred percent. Women can conceive while taking it. Would you mind if we did a quick blood test? We'll know in ten minutes," she said.

Numbly, I nodded, and Holly washed her hands, put on gloves and drew some of my blood. She left me in the room for a bit, and came back with a piece of paper that she handed to me.

"You're pregnant, Sookie," she smiled.

"I… Oh my…"

Holly put her hands on my shoulders and told me to look at her. "Didn't you tell me that you and Eric were going to start trying? That you wanted to have a baby?"

"Yes."

"Then smile, Sookie. This baby is not unwanted, and it most certainly will not be unloved. It will be a wonderful surprise for your husband to wake up to."

"But he's supposed to experience this with me. We're supposed to go through this together," I said, dangerously close to tears.

"No crying," she said. "I'll get you a list of do's and don'ts, and you make an appointment with the OB-GYN. We've also got a good reading list for women who are expecting."

"Okay. I'm going to go back to Eric now, but I don't want anyone saying anything about this in front of him. I just… sometimes I feel like he can hear me, and I don't want him to find out like that."

"Not a problem, hun. Don't forget to make an appointment," she said.

"I'll do that first."

I went outside to call my doctor and made my appointment, and then I called Maria to fill her in on what had happened with Felicia. I kept the pregnancy to myself though. I wasn't ready to share that with anyone yet.

I went back to Eric's room after that, where I was now sitting and reading to him from the newspaper, trying desperately not to think of anything else.

Gran came in later with Jason, and brought me some supper she'd made so that I wouldn't have to leave to eat. I thanked her and dug in, wishing I could share the delicious home cooking with Eric. Gran knitted while she sat with us, and Jason hung out at the nurse's station, flirting with Holly.

Before we left I gave Eric a longer kiss than normal, and got the feeling that he knew I was kissing him. It was a strange feeling when it happened. It was deep in my gut. I just knew that he could feel and hear me sometimes. Leaving that night was harder than all the others. I'd always imagined that we'd find out that we were pregnant together after pacing nervously in our bathroom while waiting for the results to show up. I wanted to tell him that he was going to be a father, that I was carrying our child already, but I couldn't. Even if he couldn't hear me, I didn't want him to find out like that.

Gran knew something was off, and after we all got home she came into my room and asked me what was wrong. I explained what had happened with Felicia, but Gran wasn't stupid. She knew there was something else.

"My darling girl, you can tell me anything," she said.

"I'm pregnant, Gran," I blurted out, and then burst into tears. "I'm not sure when it happened, but I got pregnant while on the pill, and now Eric is in a coma, and he's not going to experience this with me."

Gran sat on the bed with me, and instead of the comfort I desperately wanted, she was stern with me.

"It's time to get it together, Sookie," she said, and my crying slowed at her tone. "You've got more than just you in that body now, and you have to take care of yourself. No more of this living, yet not living. You have Stackhouse blood in you, and with that comes strength. Find it, and use it. I love you, dear, and I'm very, very happy that you're going to have a baby."

"I don't know how to be strong without him. He's always been there for me."

"You're much stronger than you think. You could have been wasting away in this room since the accident, but you didn't. You've been taking care of yourself already, just keep doing that and don't let yourself lose the joy of nurturing another life inside you."

"Can I start tomorrow, Gran? Can I just have tonight to be sad?" I asked.

She smiled, and wrapped her arms around me. "Just tonight."

* * *

**A/N:**

I hope y'all didn't get to that cheerleader bit and think I was going total soap opera on you. There had to be a dramatic catalyst for Sookie to react to so she could get her blood tested. I also really wanted to show just how strong these two are. I love their connection. I hope you'll forgive me for it since I made her pregnant. Though, I'm not actually sure if y'all will love or hate that aspect. Oy.

You all have Krismom to thank for the fast updates! She's really pimp! Working on the next chapter now :)


	6. Let It Be

**Chapter 6 - Let It Be**

I stood on the football field on Super Bowl Sunday, silent tears streaming down my face as both teams got down on one knee and said a prayer for Eric. It had been another month, and he was still in that damn hospital bed. Amazingly, the Cowboys fought hard and got through the playoffs by the skin of their teeth, and now they were paying tribute to the Legendary Eric Northman.

After the prayer ended, each of his teammates came by to shake my hand and offer me support and hopes that Eric would wake up soon. Alcide was the last player, and he gave me a long hug. I went with Maria to the stands, and she sat with me through the whole game.

Our team won the game in overtime. If Eric weren't in a coma I probably would have enjoyed it more, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew the win would be a good thing to Eric though. He wouldn't feel as guilty about retiring after he woke up, and I knew that's just what he would do.

I drove to the hospital after the game, thankful that they had it in our stadium. I should have gone home and slept though. The pregnancy was really draining my energy. A week after the blood test I went to my OB-GYN and found out how far along I was. Turns out we'd conceived during our little Thanksgiving vacation. I was worried that I'd kept taking the pill less than two weeks after that, but the doctor said that the baby would be fine.

I told Alcide and Maria about the pregnancy after the appointment, and they'd both been really great and supportive. Maria was making me lists of essentials I would need, and I was slowly checking things off. Gran was still staying with me, but Jason had gone home already. He said he would drive out to get her whenever she was ready to go, but I really didn't want her to.

"The team won, Eric," I told him when I sat next to him. "It went into overtime, but they won. Both teams took a knee and said a prayer for you before the game. It was really nice."

Again, I got the urge to tell him about the pregnancy, which happened all the time since I'd found out, but I stopped myself. I wasn't sure why I kept feeling the need to tell him, but I never did.

"The nurses are really loving Gran. She keeps baking and bringing them food. The house always smells like something's in the oven. Jude loves it. He misses you so much. Every time that garage door opens he waits to see if you'll walk through the door."

I paused for a moment to get it together. My emotions had been really out of whack lately, and it was hard to talk to Eric without crying.

"I miss you," I said, giving in to the breakdown. "I miss you so much. It hurts to be away from you at night. We haven't spent this many nights apart since we were little kids and Gran wouldn't let us sleep in the same room. Our bed is so empty and cold without you in it. Please come back to me. I need you. I can't do this alone."

I was holding onto his hand tightly as I cried, and I brought his palm up to my face.

**Eric POV**

"I want to feel you holding me again. I want to feel you kiss me back. I'm sure you can figure out the other things I want to feel," she smiled. I could feel it with my hand.

It was the first time she'd put my hand on her face, and feeling her smile was almost like seeing it, and I felt the burst of energy flow through me. I focused all of it on my hand, and felt my index finger move.

Sookie immediately stilled, and then stood up. "Eric? I felt that. Can you hear me? Eric, if you can hear me move your finger again. I'm here. I felt it. Just do it again for me."

_I'm trying._

I focused all my energy there again, but it was like a brick wall had gone up, and I felt drained.

"Please, sweetie. Do it again. Please," she begged.

_I can't, Sookie. I'm trying so hard, but I can't._

She was silent for a moment, and then she sagged against my hand, and I felt her sit back down. I was afraid she'd start crying again, but she didn't.

"So maybe you could just do it once. The fact is, you moved your finger. It gives me hope, Eric. Now what was I talking about just before you moved?"

_Sex. _

"Sex. That's right. If I didn't think it would make me more sexually frustrated than I already am I would start telling you all kinds of things I can't wait for you to do to me."

_Oh darling, feel free._

"You'd probably tell me to go ahead anyway, wouldn't you? Maybe I'll do that tomorrow. For now I need to go home and get some sleep. It's been a long day."

She put my hand back in its spot, and then kissed my lips.

"I'm very proud of you for moving your finger, Eric. I love you very much," she said, and then she left.

As always, she took my warmth with her.

**Sookie POV**

Before I left the hospital I stopped at the nurse's station and let Holly know about Eric moving his finger. She was very enthusiastic about it, and said that it was a good sign.

I told Gran when I got home, and she was also very happy.

"You see, there are things all around you to be happy about. Eric has shown a positive sign of coming out of his coma, you're carrying your first child, and everything is going smoothly for you with the pregnancy. And you have a happy, healthy dog that makes you smile every time you see him. It's time to hold your head up and be positive," she said to me.

"I don't know if I'll succeed," I said, tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

"All you can do is try," she smiled, that warm, loving Gran smile.

"I love you, Gran. I can't thank you enough for staying with me right now."

"I'm happy to be here. Right now, I think I'll go to bed. There are fresh cookies in the kitchen. Make sure you eat a couple."

"Gran, I love your baking, and I know I'm pregnant, but cookies aren't exactly the nourishment the baby needs," I laughed. "I'm already getting a little bump."

"No, but everything else you eat is good for you. You need some food with love in it. The baby needs love too."

"Goodnight, Gran," I smiled.

"Goodnight dear," she said, and went to her bedroom.

I listened to Gran's advice and had a couple of cookies after my super healthy dinner. After taking care of Jude, I went upstairs to shower and go to bed. As I was about to pull on one of Eric's shirts to wear to bed, a bad habit I was forming, I caught sight of my tiny baby bump in the mirror. To anyone who didn't know I was pregnant, it probably looked like I had just gained a little weight. It was there though. Proof of the tiny human growing inside of me. Mine and Eric's tiny human. A little us, as he'd once called it.

I let my hand rest on it for just a moment before I pulled it away and put the shirt on. I didn't want to have moments like that without Eric. As I laid in bed, I remembered what Gran had said. I needed to embrace these moments and live them, so I let my hand rest on the tiny bump again.

"I'm not sure if you're going to be a boy or a girl. I don't really care, as long as you come out happy and healthy. I just want you to know that I love you very, very much, and even though Daddy's not here right now, he loves you too. Goodnight little one."

That was the first restful night of sleep I'd gotten since the accident.

Gran was awake when I got up, and she was already making breakfast.

"Morning, Gran," I said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning," she said, giving me an astonished look. "Did you rest well?"

"I did. It's all because of you. I took your advice last night, and talked to the baby. It just felt right, and I felt at peace after. I feel great."

"That's wonderful!"

"Do you want to come to the hospital with me today?" I asked.

"I'm not feeling to well today, so I think I'll stay here. Take a long nap. Jude will keep me company."

"Do you want me to pick you up any medicine while I'm out?" I asked.

"No, I just feel a bit tired. Nothing a day of rest won't cure," she smiled. "Now, eat your breakfast."

I sat down and had a good Gran breakfast, and then headed for the hospital. I made sure to grab the container of cookies, and left them at the nurse's station. They would be gone before I left.

I had a great morning with Eric. It was the day to shave him, so I took care of that first thing, and then I did his exercises while talking to him about all sorts of things. Mostly memories of things the two of us had done together. Every time I tried to get into the dirty talk a nurse would come in to check something, and I would blush.

"I'll try again later," I whispered to him before I left.

I drove to Alcide and Maria's house before going home to see them. They were enjoying a few days of relaxation before heading off on their post-season vacation in a week.

"I still feel guilty leaving you here," Maria told me.

"Don't. I'm feeling a lot better. Eric moved his finger last night," I said, almost bursting at the seams with pride and excitement.

"No shit?" Alcide said.

"Yes. I had his hand on my face, and I was talking to him, and his index finger moved. I tried to get him to do it again, but he didn't. Holly said it's a good sign though."

"That's fantastic, Sook," Maria said. "It's nice to see you in such a happy mood."

"Gran knocked some sense into me. And I talked to the baby last night," I smiled, and put my hand on the small bump. "I didn't want to at first because I wanted Eric to be there, but I did it, and I haven't felt this good in a long time."

Maria reached over and took my hand. "You're a lot stronger than I think even you realized."

"I think so too. Anyway, I better get home and make some lunch before Gran gets to it. She's not feeling well."

"Tell her we're thinking of her, will ya?" Alcide asked.

"Of course. See y'all later," I said, and then I was on my way home.

Gran wasn't in the kitchen or the living room when I got home, so I assumed she was still taking her nap. I went ahead and started some chicken noodle soup, Gran's favorite for when she wasn't feeling well. When it was done, I went to her room to wake her up. Jude was lying in front of her door, staring up at the knob like he wanted to open it.

"What are you doing, Jude? I filled your food bowl, go eat," I said to him, but when I opened the door, he bolted into the room. "Jude, no."

Gran was lying on the bed, sleeping, with a throw blanket covering her. I went to the side of the bed and sat down. Jude jumped up and had his front paws on the mattress, but he didn't make a move to touch her.

"Gran," I said softly, and touched her shoulder. "Gran, I made lunch."

She didn't respond at all, which was weird because Gran was a light sleeper.

"Gran," I said in at a normal level, but she still didn't respond. "Gran," again, even louder, and I shook her a bit more.

Realization and panic set in, and I ran out of the room to grab the house phone. I dialed 911, and explained to the operator what had happened. She asked me to check if she was breathing, and to check her pulse, but neither one was there. I dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom, where I threw up.

When I made it back to the bedroom I remembered that the operator was still on the phone, so I picked it up. She was repeating that an ambulance was on the way, so I went to the front door to wait for them. It was only a minute more before they showed up, and I told them where she was. I followed them into the bedroom and watched them perform CPR and get out the shock paddles, but nothing worked, and I knew nothing would.

Gran was gone.

**Eric POV**

There was something different about Sookie the day after I had moved my finger. She seemed to radiate positive energy, and I found it infectious. She sounded happy, and she tried multiple times to talk dirty to me, but someone kept interrupting. I'd have to get her to do it for me when I woke up, because it was hot.

She left when she normally did for lunch with a promise to try again later, and I was doing a touchdown dance on the inside. The woman was always surprising me.

It seemed to take her a really long time to come back. The wait always felt like forever, but it felt much longer than normal, and not just because I was waiting for hot, dirty sex talk. The nurses had gone through their shift change, and she still wasn't back. I began to worry, and I wished I could yell at someone to tell me where she was.

Eventually, I blacked out, which happened sometimes. When I came to again I felt the warmth, saw the blue, and felt nothing but relief. Then I heard the crying. There was a weight next to me on the bed, and a wet spot on my shoulder. Sookie was on the bed with me, and she was crying her eyes out.

I'd never felt so helpless. She sounded so broken, and it was such a shock compared to her attitude that morning. I couldn't even ask her what was wrong. For all I knew, she'd already told me before I'd woken back up.

The best I could do was talk to her, knowing she couldn't hear, and hope that she would feel my comfort.

* * *

**A/N:**

*passes out tissues* I sorry that Gran's gone, but she had to die. It was just her time. I've started on the next chapter, and I hope I can get it done today and sent to my beta, but I'm heading into the end of the week and I don't have a day off work until Monday, so these fast updates may slow for a bit.

Again, you have Krismom to thank for this coming out so soon :)


	7. Saying Goodbye

**Chapter 7 - Saying Goodbye**

Two days after Gran passed away I was sitting in the passenger seat of a hearse. Alcide was driving the borrowed vehicle. I didn't think I could drive Gran's body home myself, and Maria insisted that Alcide take me and that they all come for the funeral. We would only be in Bon Temps for one night, so they would make it home in time for their vacation, though they did offer to cancel it.

Maria and the kids were in their car behind us, and they had Jude. I was so thankful to have them as friends. They never stopped amazing me with their selflessness.

"Is everything arranged with the funeral home?" Alcide asked.

"Yeah, the woman I talked to said they have the home ready for the visitation, and the community is getting the church ready for the funeral tomorrow."

"How are you doing?"

"Honestly? Not great. I knew she wouldn't live forever, but I didn't expect it so soon, and I definitely didn't expect it now. I just wish Eric were here," I said.

"You know he would be if he could."

"I know," I said, and rested my hand over that small bump again. No matter how sad I was at Gran's passing, I refused to forget what she said. A part of me even thought that she was hanging on until I embraced her advice so that she would see I would be okay.

I fell asleep for most of the ride, and woke up just as we were coming through Shreveport. We went to the funeral home in Bon Temps first, where they took the casket and double-checked with me that everything was how it should be. After that we went to Gran's house to change for the visitation. It was hard to be in the house without Gran, but also a comfort, like she surrounded us.

I wore a loose black dress that hid my tiny bump so nobody would speculate that I was either pregnant or getting fat, and put my hair up into an elegant bun.

The visitation was relatively easy to get through. There were a lot of familiar faces; practically the whole town came to pay their respects to Gran. Many of them made sure to offer their condolences to me about Eric, and I thanked them gratefully. It was nice to know that people were still thinking of him.

The local pastor and the school principal told me that the items Eric had donated brought more than enough money to make the repairs needed. I would have to tell Eric when we got back. He would be happy to hear it.

After the visitation, Jason and I met with Gran's lawyer to go over the will. She left Eric and I the house and the land, but left Jason any money she had saved up, as well as some old stocks and bonds she had. We were both more than happy with the split. Jason had always said he didn't want Gran's house, and he needed the money more than Eric and I ever would.

Jason dropped me off at Gran's house and then went home, but not before giving me a hug and telling me he loved me. I knew Gran's death was affecting him too, and I was glad to see that he was holding it together.

Alcide and Maria had bought pizza for supper, so I warmed myself some when I got in, and went to bed right after I ate. The funeral was at noon, and we were heading back to Texas after the service, so I needed to get some sleep.

Sleeping in my bed was hard. I hadn't slept in it alone since high school, and I was also feeling restless because I knew Eric was all alone in that hospital bed. I told him I wouldn't be in to see him for a couple of days the last time I left, but I didn't say why. It was too hard.

Maria had breakfast ready and the kids fed when I got up the next morning, so she got them cleaned up and ready while I ate. As I was heading to my room to get my dress to take to the bathroom, Alcide came down the stairs in a beautiful black suit.

"Hey Sook," he smiled slightly.

"Hey. You look great, Alcide. Gran would be proud of how well you clean up."

He smiled again. "How you holding up? Everything okay with the baby?"

I smiled and put my hand on the bump again. "Everything's fine. I still haven't experienced morning sickness. Maria cursed me for that. I'm fine too. Gran said a lot of wise things to me before she passed. I just regret that Eric didn't get to say goodbye."

"Me too. He knows she loved him though, and she knew how much he loved her," he said.

"I know."

At that moment Jackson came running down the stairs naked, and attached himself to Alcide's leg.

"I don't want to wear a tie, daddy," he said.

"Well how about some underwear first?" Alcide laughed, and picked him up. "See you in a bit, Sook."

I just laughed and headed to my room to grab my clothes, and then went to the bathroom to shower. The new water heater was working like a dream. I was so grateful when Eric told me he'd bought it for her, and we'd gotten a phone call from Gran when it came in. She'd made us promise not to get her a Christmas present since we'd bought the water heater.

I finished up my shower quickly, and got dressed. After my hair and make-up were done we all left for the church. Gran looked so peaceful, and I did my best not to cry. She wouldn't have wanted it. The pastor reflected that in his sermon. Gran would have wanted us to celebrate her life, the things she'd done, and the positive nature of her. So I refused to cry.

We buried her in the cemetery next to the house, where she wanted to be. Luckily for us, Gran had already planned out her own funeral back in October without telling anyone. It wasn't any wonder now that she kept bugging us about having children. I was just glad that she knew I was pregnant before she passed.

As we all stood beside her grave, a realization came to me. My dream was real. It wasn't Eric's funeral I dreamt of, it was Gran's. Eric wasn't there because he was in a coma. I'd never even thought about the fact that Gran wasn't next to me in the dream. The realization left me feeling cold, like I could have prevented it if I'd just paid attention, but then I felt warm sensation from the inside out, like being hugged from inside. A strong scent overcame me; the scent of fresh flowers and baked goods. It was Gran, and she was saying goodbye.

"Goodbye, Gran. I'll miss you," I whispered, and with that, the sensation was gone.

**Eric POV**

It had been almost two days since Sookie had been with me, and I was practically jumping out of my skin with the need to have her near. I was only able to keep track of the time because of the shift changes.

All I knew was what she told me, and that was that she wouldn't be back for two days. She didn't say why. No one had been to visit me since other than the routine checks of the nurses, so I couldn't figure it out from anyone else either.

I felt myself blacking out again, and tried to fight it. I didn't want to be asleep when Sookie got back. The sleep won eventually, and I knew nothing until I smelled it.

Fresh flowers and pie. It was Gran.

"Hello Eric, dear," she said.

_Gran. I miss you so much._

"I know. I've missed you too," she replied. Replied?

_Gran? Can you hear me?_

"Of course I can hear you," she laughed.

_But no one can hear me, I'm in a coma. _

"But everyone else is still unable. I'm free now."

Free. Oh god.

_Gran, no._

"Yes. Don't be sad for me. I feel so good to be free of my old body. I'm no longer tired, or in pain."

_Is that why Sookie is gone? Why she was in here crying a few nights ago? _

"Yes. I've managed to stick around for my funeral before moving on. It was a lovely service."

_How is Sookie? She must be so devastated. I hate that I can't comfort her right now._

"She's handling it much better than you think. Sookie is very strong, Eric. She's dealing with a lot right now, but she is dealing. But that's also why I'm here. I wanted to say goodbye to you, but I also need to talk to you about Sookie."

_What about her?_

"You need to get out of this, Eric. You need to wake up."

_I try all the time, Gran. It's like there's a brick wall that prevents me. I can't break through it. And when I try my energy drains and I black out._

"You are, without doubt, the strongest man I've ever known. You have to break that wall down. You have more than Sookie counting on you now."

_Wait, what does that mean?_

"You'll know when you're meant to. That's all I'm allowed to say. So keep fighting, my darling boy. You have people that need you, and love you."

_Don't go, Gran._

"I must. It's my time. I have to go off and explain to Mitchell why we're sharing our eternity with Fintan," she laughed. "Oh, I was such a little trollop once upon a time."

I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't. Gran was really dead, and she was about to leave me.

_I love you, Gran. I don't think I've ever thanked you for raising me right. So thank you. I am who I am because of you._

"You are who you are because of yourself, Eric. Because of the love you have in you for Sookie. I just helped you grow. I love you, and I'll always be with you and Sookie. Now wake up, Eric. Wake up."

I felt this warmth fill my body and spread out until it was enveloping me, and then it got hotter and hotter until I felt as though I couldn't breathe. All at once, it stopped, and I was just me again, lying there in a hospital bed. Someone was holding my hand, but I didn't see blue or feel that inner warmth. The person was also sleeping. I could feel their head on the bed next to my leg. I wanted to open my eyes and see who it was, so I did.

I opened my eyes.

The once-familiar action stunned me, and the overhead lights hurt my eyes, so I squeezed them shut again. I didn't like the blackness I had become accustomed to, so I opened my eyes once more. Fuck, if I could do that, maybe I could move something else. I started at my feet, all my focus on my toes. They wiggled, I felt it. I slowly lifted my arm, and then moved my fingers on both hands. I wanted to laugh, and I wanted to cry. Then I felt that hand holding onto mine, and lifted my head to see who it belonged to.

Lying there, her beautiful head resting on her beautiful arm, and dressed in a funeral dress, was my wife. My Sookie. I simply stared at her for a long moment, thankful to have to ability to see her back, and then I looked at our clasped hands and squeezed hers. She stirred a bit, and I tried to talk, but my throat was dry, so I squeezed again.

This time her eyes blinked open, and I saw that beautiful color of blue that had been the only thing I'd seen the whole time I was unable to see anything else. I squeezed again, causing her to look at our hands. Her eyes got big, and then she looked up and straight into mine.

"Eric," she breathed, and the next thing I knew she was over me and all around me. Her hands were in my hair, she was kissing my face and lips, and this time I got to pucker and kiss her right back. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming."

I tried to talk again, but couldn't, and when she pulled back in alarm I pointed to my throat. She nodded and frantically ran around the room and came back with a cup of water and a straw. She elevated the bed more and held the cup so I could drink. When it was all down I coughed, and then spoke.

"I think I've died and gone to heaven, because I see a fairy," I said, and smiled when she grinned broadly.

"Well I don't know what you're talking about because there's only angels in heaven," she replied.

"Not in mine," I smiled

"Let me go get a nurse," she said with a chuckle and turned to walk out the door, but I grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Gran's gone, isn't she?" I asked.

She frowned and nodded slowly. "Yeah, she is."

I nodded and gave her hand a squeeze before letting go. She left the room and came back a moment later with a nurse. As soon as she spoke I knew her to be Holly.

"Welcome back, Mr. Northman," she smiled. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been lying in a bed for a year," I said.

She chuckled. "Not a year, but I see your point. The doctor will be here in an hour to check you out, and then we'll get you unhooked from everything and see about getting you up and in a wheelchair. For now, you two just take the time to talk. I'm sure there's lots to discuss," she said, and gave a wink to Sookie, before leaving.

"Get up here," I said, and opened my arms to my wife.

She smiled, and kicked off her shoes before climbing up on the bed and snuggling into my arms.

"It feels so good to hold you again. I was killing me not to," I said, and kissed her temple.

"You mean you weren't asleep the whole time?" she asked.

"No. I could hear and feel everything that was going on, but I couldn't move or express that I was conscious on the inside. It was like being a prisoner in my own body. I always knew when you were in the room though. I could feel it."

"Oh Eric, that must have been horrible," she said, and squeezed me tighter.

"It was at first, but I got used to it. I tried hard to wake up, Sookie. I really did."

"I believe you," she smiled, and kissed me again. "What happened that finally made you wake up?"

"Gran," I said. "She came to me, and told me that she was moving on, but wanted to say goodbye first."

"Gran came to you?" Sookie asked, tears in her eyes.

"Yes, and she told me that I needed to wake up. That I had more than just you counting on me, but I don't know what she meant by…" I paused, and it hit me. All the clues fit together. I shifted in the bed and turned toward Sookie.

"What is it?" she asked, a worried look on her face.

I couldn't tell through the dress, so I placed my hand on her lower stomach and felt up and down. I let out a breath, and my eyes welled with tears. Sookie placed her hand on mine, and I saw that she was crying as well.

"When?" I asked.

"Thanksgiving. I guess all that planning didn't matter after all. I didn't find out until recently. The due date is in late August."

"We're pregnant?" I could hardly believe it.

"Yes," she said, and I kissed her hard.

"I love you so much," I said over and over again.

"I love you too," she replied each time.

We laid in that hospital bed as we waited for the doctor, holding each other and kissing, one of my hands on the tiny bump the whole time. I couldn't have thought of better news to wake up to.

* * *

**A/N:**

Well, that was the last update for a while probably. I thought I'd get y'all to a happy point before the scarce updated started again. I've got a busy weekend ahead, a project that needs finished, and I desperately need to get my Support Stacie one-shots written, so I'm going to try to get busy on all that in the coming week.

Thank you all for sticking through the sad with me, and I hope you enjoy what's to come :)

Once again, big thanks to Krismom for her beta skills! Love you sweetie!


	8. Awake

**A/N:**

Hey all! It's been a while! I decided to take some time and complete a few things. I'm down to this story and one other, and hopefully I'll have this one complete soon too :)

Just a fair warning. When a person actually comes out of a coma, it's much different than portrayed here. The person would come out of it gradually and need a ton of rest. The recovery would also be much slower.

For the sake of moving the story along, Eric's wake-up and recovery will go much faster, and I'm leaving out a lot of medical stuff that I don't want to write about and I'm sure would be tedious to read, so please suspend disbelief. It's just FanFic :)

* * *

**Chapter 8 - Awake**

Dr. Ludwig came in and checked Eric out, asked him some questions. She removed his IV and said they'd have him meet with a specialist to test his throat muscles, so they could get him on some real food again. Eric asked if he could take a shower, and the doctor approved it, but said that someone would need to help him. His muscles hadn't been used in two months, so until he got his strength back he would need help with a lot of things. I volunteered, and after Holly came back she helped me get him into a wheelchair, and then into the shower.

There was a seat in the big stall that we put Eric on, and after Holly left he took off his hospital gown and gave it to me.

"Will you get in with me?" he asked when I turned the water on.

"Is this just an excuse to see me naked?"

"Yes," he smiled.

"At least you're honest about it," I laughed. "Let me go grab our clothes and shower stuff from the room."

"Why do you have that stuff here?"

"I brought in a change of clothes for you for when you woke up, since I knew you wouldn't want to be in that hospital gown for long. I keep a set here for myself just in case, and I showered here a lot for the first couple weeks so I have some shampoo and soap in there."

"You always did think ahead," he said.

I grabbed the bag then returned to the bathroom, where I set the shampoo, conditioner, and soap bottles on the floor of the stall, then I stripped down and got into the shower with Eric. I stepped under the spray and wet my hair, and just as I was about to ask if he wanted me to wash him first, I noticed that Eric was staring at my stomach with glistening eyes.

"Eric?" I asked.

"Will you come here please?" he asked, never taking his eyes off of the baby bump.

I closed the distance between us and stood in front of him. His hands came up to cradle the swell of my stomach, and then he kissed it.

"This is all real, right?" he asked. "I'm not still in that damn bed dreaming? I'm really awake and staring at my baby growing in my wife?"

"How about I wait to answer that until tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"I have an appointment, and the doctor's office is here at the hospital. I'm sure we can get you over there so you can hear the heartbeat with me for the first time. I feel like it's the only sound that will make everything real."

He looked up at me finally, and I bent to give him a kiss.

"Your boobs are bigger," he smiled.

"Yes, they are, but hands off. I don't think they want you doing anything sexual yet."

"As soon as I can though, fair warning. I'll be all over those."

"Oh, goodness," I sighed. "Let's get you cleaned up."

I got us both clean and dressed, and then Eric insisted I let him shave his own face. He was due for a haircut as soon as I got him home. It was getting quite shaggy. I wheeled him back into the room and hit the call button for a nurse. Holly came in a minute later.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"Much better, thank you," Eric smiled at her. "Can Sookie take me outside? I'm craving fresh air."

"Of course she can, but only for a little while. I know the last thing you want to do is get back in that bed, but you really do need rest right now."

"How long can I keep him out?" I asked.

"I'd say no more than an hour."

"Okay then, we'll be back."

I pushed Eric down the hospital hallways that had become quite familiar to me, and made it to the elevator without running him into anything.

"I feel weird having you push me in a wheelchair," he chuckled. At least he was in good spirits.

"You'll be on your feet and tossing around a ball with Alcide before you know it."

"Can we call them? What time is it anyway?"

"It's late, and they're leaving for their vacation tomorrow night. We can call them in the morning when you wake up, if you want."

"Yeah, I'd like to as soon as possible. I want to thank Alcide," he said.

"For what?" I asked as the elevator doors slid open. I wheeled him out the front doors and parked the chair next to a bench, which I sat down on at an angle so we could talk. Eric looked up at the stars and took a deep breath, a contented smile on his face.

"I feel like I haven't been outside in years," he said, and then looked at me. "I want to thank Alcide and Maria for being there for you. You talked a lot about how much of a help they were being, having dinner with you all the time, and taking care of Jude. They're really good friends, and I'm so grateful you weren't alone. I can barely remember the time when Alcide and I hated each other's guts."

I laughed. "Seems like a lifetime ago."

"I also want to thank you," he said, his expression turning serious as he gripped my hands. "For not believing that cheerleader. It would have been so easy for you to wonder if there was a small amount of truth to what she was claiming, but I know you didn't."

"I trust you. I know you wouldn't so much as flirt with another woman, let alone have a full-blown affair."

"I know the same about you," he said. I leaned forward and kissed him.

"Will you tell me about Gran?" he asked after I pulled away. "What happened?"

"The doctor said it was just her time. Her heart stopped while she was sleeping. Jason brought her here after Alcide called her and told her I was being a zombie-robot. She came with me to see you often. She and Jude became fast friends, and she baked a lot. I think some of her cookies are still at home. They'll be good for a while."

"Did she know about the baby?"

"Yeah," I nodded, finally letting the build-up of tears flow down my cheeks. "I told her the night I found out, and she gave me a lecture about feeling sorry for myself."

"Sounds like Gran," he chuckled.

"She was really great. She kept you and me company, and taught me some very important lessons."

Eric looked confused, so I took a deep breath and tried my best to explain it.

"Until very recently I wasn't exactly connecting with this pregnancy," I said carefully. I didn't want him to think I was unhappy with it.

"You mean you didn't want it?" he asked. "Because I heard you right after the accident. You said we were going to start trying that night."

"I want this baby, Eric. Please believe that. It has _never_ been unwanted. I did everything the books told me. I've been very careful about what I eat and drink, I've been exercising, but I couldn't allow myself to really have a moment with the baby."

Eric looked positively sullen. "I don't understand."

"I didn't…" I paused and looked down. The guilt I felt for not feeling a connection to the baby right away was great. He looked concerned when I lifted my head to stare at him again. "I didn't want to have any moments without you. I didn't want to experience _any_ of this pregnancy without you. Gran finally told me that the baby needed love just as much as it needed me to be healthy, so the night before she passed away I finally talked to the baby."

I reached into his lap and took his hand.

"I told him or her that I loved them very much, and that even though daddy's not here, that he loves them too," I said, and Eric's grip on my hand tightened. "Ever since then I've felt nothing but love for this baby, and I can't seem to stop putting my hands on my stomach. I was just afraid to experience any of this without you, and I'm so sorry if you think less of me because of it."

"Come here," he said, pulling on my arm. I sat in his lap as he wrapped his arms around me and told me he loved me. "I could never think less of you. I'm just upset that you had to feel any of that because I wasn't there. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm done with football," he stated, his voice hard. "I'm retiring. I'll find something else to do, but I'm not playing anymore. Nothing is going to keep me from you and our kids."

I had known he would do it, but hearing it from his mouth was a huge relief. Eric said he was starting to feel tired, so I took him back up to his room where Holly met us.

"How are you feeling?" she asked Eric.

"Drained," he said.

"Let's get you in bed then. We got your sheets changed and I need you to drink a vitamin supplement before you fall asleep."

Holly and I helped Eric into the bed, and then she went to get him the drink.

"Get up here," Eric said, lifting the covers and moving over a bit. I crawled into the cramped space and snuggled up to him.

"I don't want any funny business in here tonight," Holly said with a smile when she saw us. "Eric needs quite a bit of rest before anything racy happens."

"How long before we're allowed?" Eric asked her.

"I'd give it at least a week, and even then you two will have to make sure it's easy on Eric's muscles. You need to get the strength back in them before you go practicing some kama sutra stuff," she joked. I loved how laid-back Holly was.

"Thanks Holly," I said. Eric finished the supplement Holly had handed to him, and gave her the empty plastic cup.

"That was disgusting," he said.

"Everyone says so," she said with a smile. "You two get some rest. We'll be in early to start running tests and visiting specialists."

"Oh, about that," I said, stopping her before she left. "I have an appointment tomorrow to hear the heartbeat, and I wanted Eric to be there. It's at two o'clock, do you think we can get him over there?"

"I'm sure we can. A nurse will have to go with you, not in the room or anything, but to take him there and bring him back. There shouldn't be a problem with him going though. Now get some sleep."

Holly left the room, and Eric and I snuggled closer to each other.

"I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep," Eric said.

"I'm not leaving your side, I promise. You need to rest," I said, squeezing him a bit tighter.

"Do you ever feel the baby?" he asked.

"Sometimes I get what feels like butterflies fluttering around real low, but no major movement."

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

"I don't care what it is, as long as it's healthy. I kind of want both."

He chuckled. "That's right. I want five girls and seven boys."

"I'll tell you what, I'll carry and deliver two of each and you can do the rest."

"What? You only want four kids? I want like twenty."

"I want as many as I can have without going insane," I said with a laugh.

"I heard you singing to me," he said randomly.

"What are you talking about?"

"The first night I was in here, you were sad, and I didn't know what to do. I sang our song to you, and you sang it back."

"You were singing to me?"

"Yes. I think we've been connected this whole time. I felt warm when you were near. If there was ever any evidence that soul mates exist, that would be it."

I help him just a little tighter. "I love you, Eric. Thank you for going all Thor on those boys when we were eight."

"I wouldn't have done anything differently. Not even the stuff when we were in high school."

"I don't know if I can say that."

"Why not?"

I sat up so I could look at him while we spoke.

"You have to know that I regret that you weren't my first."

"I know you do, but you shouldn't. It's not a big deal to me. I was the first that you loved, and I've been the only one since. That's all that matters. It's not like your first was someone like Bill Compton, because if so this conversation would be going much differently," he laughed, and I wanted to smack him. Instead, I lay back down and snuggled into his embrace once more.

"You're too good to me."

"I try," he whispered, and that was the last thing I remember before sleep took me.


	9. Heartbeats

**Chapter 9 - Heartbeats**

"Hello?"

"Hey man, what's up?" I asked, doing my damndest not to laugh. There was a long pause on the line and then he spoke again.

"Eric?"

"Who else would it be?"

"You're awake!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"Holy shit man, when did this happen? Does Sookie know? Hell, of course she does. Are you okay?"

"It happened last night, Sookie was with me when it happened, and yes, I'm fine. Feeling pretty weak, but otherwise fine."

"Well I'll be damned. It's good to hear your voice again. You want us to come by before we leave?"

"No, it'll be fine. I just wanted to call you to thank you guys for being there for Sookie. I appreciate it more than you know."

"I know you and Sookie would have done the same had it been me," he said.

"We would have. Now go thank your lucky stars it wasn't, kiss Maria and the kids, and go on a vacation," I said, trying to lighten the conversation back up.

"I will. It's good to talk to you again, man. Take care of yourself and we'll see you soon."

"I will," I said and ended the call. Sookie hung the receiver back up for me and gave me a kiss.

"Are you ready for this?" she asked.

"More than you know."

A day shift nurse by the name of Thalia took me to Sookie's doctor's office for her appointment. I'd already seen quite a few specialists that morning, and was given some applesauce and scrambled eggs, but that was it for real food. They said I'd get more solid stuff after Sookie and I got back.

The wait in the doc's office wasn't extremely long, and after the nurse got all the info she needed we waited for the doctor.

"Are you nervous?" Sookie asked.

I could only nod my answer.

"It'll be okay," she said, holding out her hand for mine.

The doctor, a woman who I placed in her early 40's, came in and introduced herself.

"Hello Mr. Northman. I'm Dr. Crane, and I'll be the one delivering your baby. Mrs. Northman has told me so much about you, so it's wonderful to see you awake."

"It's great to be awake, and it's nice to meet you," I said as I shook the hand she offered.

"So, have you been having any problems, any issues or concerns?" she asked Sookie.

"Nope. None at all. I did finally start having morning sickness though. It kicked in a couple hours ago. I think the baby was waiting for Eric to wake up so he wouldn't miss any of the fun," Sookie told the doctor, her free hand coming to rest on her stomach when she mentioned the baby. I loved the look of it.

"I was wondering when that would kick in. You were going to make all the other mothers jealous. How about we lay back and hear the baby's heartbeat?"

"Alright," Sookie said, giving my hand a squeeze as she lay back while the doctor lifted her shirt and pulled the front of her pants down a bit. I was so thankful she had a female doctor.

"Let's see how much we have to chase the little one around," Dr. Crane said as she pulled out what I could only describe as a microphone and placed it onto Sookie's abdomen. I wished I could stand up so I could see better.

At first all we heard was what sounded like white noise coming from the device she was holding, and in the next second a distinct sound filled the room. It was a steady, fast, loud whooshing sound. I'm pretty sure I stopped breathing when I heard it. It was the heartbeat of my child. The child I'd made with Sookie. Our little us. Sookie had been right when she said hearing it would be the only thing to make it all real, because if this wasn't real then God was an evil bastard.

"That's a good, strong heartbeat," Dr. Crane said.

"It's so fast," I commented.

"That's a good thing," she laughed. We listened to it for another minute or so and then Dr. Crane removed the microphone.

I sat in a daze while the doctor talked to Sookie, replaying the sound over and over in my head until I felt Sookie squeezing my hand and realized that we were alone in the room.

"You okay?" she asked.

"If I could stand right now, I'd be hugging you," I said.

Sookie hopped off the table and sat in my lap so I could do just what I wanted. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her neck, squeezing out the tears that had built up in my eyes when I shut them tightly.

"I love you," I whispered.

A week later they finally cleared me to go home. Sookie had stayed with me every night, only leaving twice a day to take care of Jude. I was finally able to stand on my own for short amounts of time, and I could lift about five pounds. We got it set up with my personal trainer who was also a licensed physical therapist to come to our house and work with me on getting my muscle strength back.

Three days after I had woken up our lawyer came by to let us know some very good news. It turned out that I had very strong grounds to sue over the faulty helmet I had been wearing. I didn't really want to, but I also knew that I wouldn't be playing anymore, and I did have a family to think about. We ended up settling it in a matter of days. I was offered a huge settlement if I didn't sue, and I accepted it. The settlement money, in addition to the contractual money I would receive for a career-ending injury, would more than pay for all my kids' college tuition.

There were a ton of photographers and news vans outside the hospital, but they got me into Sookie's car discreetly enough. The photographers didn't even realize it was me until we were driving by.

"Jesus, I'm going to run over someone," Sookie said when the people started running across the drive to get to my side of the car.

"Just keep going slowly," I said, placing my hand on her thigh. I was actually pretty pissed about it all. Sookie was pregnant, and she didn't need the stress.

It took about five minutes to get out to the road, where we both finally relaxed a bit.

"When we get home, I want you to stay in the car," she said.

"Why?"

"I'm going to go inside and put Jude in the laundry room, and then I'll come back and help you in before I let him out. I don't want him jumping on you while you're standing up."

"Yeah, you're right about that. I miss that damn dog," I said. I really did. I had been pretty surprised to come home one day and have him there, but he really had become part of the family.

Sookie went through a fast food drive thru so I could satisfy my hunger. Hospital food sucked ass, especially when you were only allowed to eat ground meat for a few days. I inhaled the double burger, fries, and frosty in the time it took Sookie to just eat her fries. With one look at me, she laughed and handed me her burger.

"Hands off my frosty though," she warned.

Sookie parked the car in the garage, ran inside to take care of Jude, and then she came back and helped me into the house. Once I was settled on the couch and Sookie had all the stuff from the car inside, she let Jude out. Since he didn't know I was there he didn't freak out, so Sookie told me to call for him.

"Jude," I yelled, and heard the clicking of his nails on the tile in the kitchen stop. I yelled his name again, and the clicking came back rapidly. I heard him running across the carpet, and then he was on the couch, barking and licking me everywhere he could find exposed skin.

"Hey buddy! Did you miss me?"

He hopped to the end of the couch, then turned around and attacked me again before jumping on the floor and running around the coffee table, and then into the kitchen and back to me again.

"I'd say someone's happy to see you," Sookie laughed.

It took almost an hour to get Jude calm enough to go outside and take care of business. After she let him out, Sookie curled up on the couch with me. I tried to kiss her, but she pulled away.

"No way. You're covered in dog slobber, so not until you shower."

"What else can we do after I shower?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Eric…"

"Holly said to give it a week. It's been a week. We already know I'm not having arousal issues, quite the opposite actually. Why can't we? I'll just lie there, I promise."

"Look, I have some phone calls to make, and the lawyer is coming over in a little bit with that paperwork for you to sign. I think the team spokesperson needs to talk to you about doing a press conference too," she said as she walked down the hall to the office. I didn't understand why she was avoiding the sex talk. Was it because I was weak and she wasn't turned on by me? Was she insecure about herself with the baby bump? Surely not, since she'd let me see her naked in the shower. She came back into the living room with my laptop and handed it to me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"What? Nothing, I'm fine," she said. "I'll be in the office making a few phone calls. I've been putting off signing paperwork at the school to make my resignation official, so I need to get that set up."

I nodded as she walked away, and all I wanted to do was go after her, but I'd seen her like that before. Usually, when she was bothered by something a student was going through. She just wanted to be left alone for a while so she could think.

About an hour later I'd gotten through a tiny portion of my inbox, and the doorbell rang. Sookie rushed out to answer it, and our lawyer came in. Sookie was the perfect hostess as always, getting us each a glass of sweet tea to drink while we went over the details of the settlement. He was in and out in under an hour, and Sookie was back to avoiding me.

She let Jude back in after the lawyer left, and he immediately attacked me again, though he was less enthusiastic about it that time. The team spokesperson called shortly after that and we set up a press conference for the next week, in which I would announce my retirement from the NFL, and answer questions about the decision.

As the evening dragged on, I got more and more frustrated that Sookie was still avoiding the talk we needed to have. I got so frustrated that I got up and started walking to the bathroom on my own. I knew I wasn't strong enough to walk that far myself, but I was pissed off and felt the need to prove something. Sookie was in the kitchen fixing supper at the time and didn't notice I'd moved right away. Well, she didn't notice until she went into the living room to tell me something, and then spotted me slowly moving down the hall.

"ERIC NORTHMAN!" She screamed at me. Two seconds later she was by my side, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and forcing me to let her support me. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I just wanted to go to the bathroom," I grumbled.

"Then you ask for help. Do you want to injure yourself?"

"No, but I don't want you to see me as weak either," I said. We got into the bathroom and she helped me sit on the edge of the tub.

"I don't see you as weak. Why would you think that?" she asked, her eyes open and honest.

"Why else would you be avoiding the sex thing?"

She sighed. "Eric…"

"Don't. Just go. I can piss without your help," I said quite harshly, immediately regretting my tone. Sookie straightened stiffly and walked to the door.

"I'll wait out here until you're ready to go back," she said softly, clicking the door shut after her.

"Dammit," I said under my breath, running my fingers through my hair. I shouldn't have snapped at her, and I knew it. She didn't deserve that, and I owed her the chance to explain herself. I used the bathroom, and when I opened the door again Sookie was there with tear-stained cheeks, ready to take me back to the couch.

"Shit, I'm sorry," I said, reaching out to pull her into my arms.

"I'm sorry I'm being this way," she cried into my chest. "You've been through so much and you don't deserve this."

"Will you help me into the guest room?" I asked. We were using the guest room as our temporary bedroom until I could climb the stairs easily again. Sookie helped me down the hall and into the room, where I pulled her onto the bed with me.

"Tell me what's wrong," I said.

"I don't find you weak at all, Eric. I love you. You are my best friend, my husband. I'm supposed to take care of you when you're sick."

"Why don't you want to talk about sex then?"

"I want you. I'm just… It's…" she paused to take a deep breath, and then launched into a huge explanation. "My boobs are bigger, and I've gained weight. My stomach is showing that we'd literally be having sex inches from our child, and that freaks me out. It would have to be me on top, and that shows off all my insecurities. And while you were in the coma I had a lot of fantasies about you making love to me after you woke up, and I kind of clung to those fantasies, so I'm a little bummed that I have to be the one doing the lovemaking. And it's all ridiculous, and that's why I didn't want to talk about it."

Wow… just wow.

"I'm being stupid and selfish, and I know that, but I can't help it. And my hormones are being weird, and…"

I silenced her with a kiss. "I love you. I don't see any extra weight, and I wouldn't care if there was because I'll always want you. And if you want to wait until I'm strong again, then we'll wait."

"No, I can't wait that long. You have no idea what this pregnancy has done to my sex drive."

"Then what can I do?" I asked, about to get frustrated again.

"You can lie there," she said, and pulled off her shirt.

Two hours later Sookie helped me back into the living room, and then continued fixing supper. Thankfully, she hadn't gotten to the cooking part before our sexual interlude. I was positively spent. The first two times she took it slow and sweet, making love to me like it was our first time. Then she showed me just how much her sex drive had increased and gave me the best blowjob of my life before riding me harder than she ever had. We both loved every second of it.

She plopped down on the couch next to me with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a bag of chips.

"I was planning on making you fried chicken, but I'm not sure I can stand that long now," she giggled. "God, I needed that."

"You needed all those orgasms? Really? Cause you had quite a few."

"I think I set a new record. This being pregnant thing kind of makes for awesome sex."

"I'll use it as incentive to get better faster," I grinned as I picked up half a sandwich. "But you're going to have to feed me more."

"Don't tire me out so much and I'll cook you a feast."

"We'll strike a balance."

"As you wish."

* * *

**A/N:**

Big thanks to my beta FDM for making me be technical where it counts :) Love you sweetness!

Still in the process of writing the next chapter, but I'm also currently trying to move my files to my new laptop, so I'm a bit occupied for a bit.

While you wait, please PLEASE check out this awesome new fic if you're an Alcide lover[remove spaces]:** http:/www . fanfiction . net/s/6131623/1/Its_Your_Song**

I'm lucky enough to get to beta this awesome story, and let me tell you, it's ah-mazing. Please check it out, leave the author some love, and check out her other SVM stories **Secrets That Kill** and **The Gambler and The Lady**


	10. Falling Into Place

**A/N:**

If anyone's still out there reading this diddy, I apologize for the wait. I've been taking a break from writing on these stories because I didn't feel like I was doing it for myself anymore. I don't want to feel pressure while writing, this is a fun stress relief thing for me. I'm truly sorry that the readers got the short end of the stick though. I know how much it sucks to wait months for an update. To correct this, I'm no longer going to post a story unless it's completely written so that I can control the update schedule.

I literally only have about a paragraph left to write on the next chapter of this, and it will be done. It will also be the final chapter. For those of you who read My Last First Date, the next chapter is done and with my beta, so it shouldn't be too much longer for that one.

Thank you, FDM, for being an awesome beta and letting me be cheesy and cliche, even if you stomped a bit. But hey, I didn't use center or core *snickers*

_Recap: In the last chapter, a newly awoken Eric got to hear the baby's heartbeat. He and Sookie went home and got settled and reacquainted with each other in the bedroom. _

* * *

**Chapter 10 - Falling Into Place**

"Would you look at that? The Legendary Eric Northman is hobbling around on his own!"

"Get over here, Alcide, I'm not hobbling all the way to your ass."

Alcide laughed and met me by the couch to give me a good man hug. In the two weeks since I'd been home I'd gained quite a bit of my strength back. I could walk around without help now, but I was a bit slow, and I still didn't risk climbing the stairs. That was mine and Sookie's rule. When I could climb the stairs without falling or needing help, then I could make love to her. I was _dying_ to climb those stairs.

"C'mere Maria," I said after Alcide stepped back. After Maria, Jackson, and Janice all got hugs we sat down to talk. Sookie brought in a tray of lemonade, and sat next to me, her hand immediately resting on her stomach.

"How's the pregnancy going?" Maria asked her.

"I finally got morning sickness," Sookie laughed.

"It's about dang time. I would have been so ticked if you got through the whole thing without throwing up once."

"Maria and I have some news," Alcide said, taking his wife's hand in his.

"No way," Sookie blurted out, and then slapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry. Just tell us."

"We're pregnant," Maria said with a huge grin, and Sookie squealed and jumped up to hug her while I settled for a simple congrats to Alcide.

"I'm so happy we're going to have kids close together! When did this happen?" Sookie asked, nearly out of breath with excitement.

"Just after the accident. We were kind of taking every moment we could to be together in light of what happened," Alcide said with a smirk, and Maria swatted at his arm. "What?"

"We knew we wanted more kids, and this keeps them all about two years apart, which is nice. We're just really, really excited," Maria said as she sat back down next to Alcide.

"How long have you known?" Sookie asked.

"About a month, but please don't be mad. We didn't feel right saying anything when Eric was in the hospital," Maria explained.

"I understand," Sookie said, and smiled. "I can't wait to get huge and moody with you."

"It'll definitely be nice to have someone around that really understands. I mean, Alcide is wonderful, but he doesn't get it."

"Hey!" Alcide said.

"Oh hush. I love you, but until you grow a human being inside you, you don't freaking get it."

"I get it," he grumbled, and Maria and Sookie rolled their eyes.

We talked for a bit, and then the girls took the kids outside to play.

"You know we're going to be completely miserable in a few months, right?" he asked.

"Probably, but I'm looking forward to it. At least I'm awake now. It's like having a whole new perspective on life. Everything is better. Air, water, food, sex, love."

"I hope I never have to go through what you did to feel that way," he said.

"You don't. I know you love your wife and kids. You appreciate the life you have. You're a good guy, Alcide. You always have been, even when I hated you."

"Did you actually hate me?"

"You fell in love with the woman I loved, of course I hated you," I laughed. "But you were good to her."

"Since we're on the subject, there's something I've always wanted to ask you," Alcide said.

"Go ahead."

"Why did you encourage Sookie's relationship with me? Like having her wear my jersey, and go with me to Homecoming. If you hated us being together so much, why didn't you try to sabotage it?"

"Because I loved her. All I wanted was for Sookie to be happy, and as much as it killed me that is was you, she was still happy. I would never do anything to stand in the way of that, even then."

"You're a better man than me. I really thought you were trying to break us up at first. It was why I was kind of a dick about taking her home and her dancing with you. I mean, the whole school thought you two had been together since Freshman year, and the only reason I asked Sookie out was because I'd never seen you guys actually do anything that couples did."

"That was my mistake. Did you know that I was going to tell her how I felt the night you took her home after practice?"

"No shit?"

"Yup. Fate is a fickle bitch," I said with a chuckle.

"I'm kind of glad though. I mean, if Sookie turned me down, I was kind of considering asking out Debbie, the cheerleader. Remember her?"

"Are you kidding me? She was crazy."

"I know. Could you imagine if it had worked out that way? She never would have let me go as easily as Sookie did. God, the hurt that would have caused Maria… It wasn't until we were a couple years into college that I really understood how much I'd hurt her. If Sookie hadn't said yes to that movie…"

"I get it. If all that crap happened so that you and I can sit and have a beer while the loves of our lives watch the kids, then it was all worth it," I said. I believed it too.

"Alcide Herveaux!" Maria yelled into the house.

"What?" Alcide yelled back.

"Would you like to explain to me why your son knows the word 'tits'?"

"Shit," he mumbled, and I cracked up.

It took me three more weeks to get enough strength to climb the stairs without losing my breath, and as soon as I got to that top step I yelled for Sookie.

"What? What happened?" she asked frantically as she ran towards the sound of my voice.

"I did it! Get your beautiful ass up here," I told her.

"Oh my god, Eric! Why did you do that by yourself? You should have told me first. Dammit!"

"Sookie, please don't be moody right now. Please? I just climbed the stairs by myself, and I'm not even sore. I'm fine. I want to make love to you."

"Do you really think I'm in the mood now?" she huffed and then turned on her heel and stormed off.

She'd barely been in the mood for a while now. At first it was sex all the time, but then it was like a switch flipped and she never wanted me to look at her unless she had layers of clothes on. It happened around two weeks ago, after the press conference for the NFL in which I announced my retirement so that I could be with my pregnant wife and be around more for our child. A reporter got a picture of the two of us where she was turned slightly, and after she saw it she began wearing looser clothing. We hadn't had sex, or even showered together since.

I knew I'd have to be crafty for this one. I slowly went back down the stairs and into the guest room to gather our things to take up to the bedroom. I put it all in a laundry basket and made the bed so Sookie wouldn't have to, and then I went to the kitchen where she was making supper.

"I got all our stuff out of the guest bedroom and bathroom to take upstairs."

"Why didn't you just take it up yourself?" she snapped at me, and I sighed.

"I'm sorry. I've been too afraid to try lately, and I finally got the courage to, so I just did it. I wasn't thinking."

"No, you weren't."

"Can we not fight about this? Please? That was a big step forward for my recovery. I climbed fifteen stairs, Sookie. Fifteen, and I didn't lose my breath or feel any strain on my muscles. That's huge. I'm practically back to normal."

Sookie set the spatula down next to the stove, took a deep breath, and then burst into tears.

"Shit," I muttered, and turned her around so I could hug her. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It's not you," she sobbed into my chest. "It really was a big deal, and I ruined it for you. I don't know why you put up with me."

"I don't put up with you. I love you. Even your mood swings," I said in a calm tone as I rubbed her back.

"But that was a big moment, and you'll never get it back."

"No, it's okay. We'll look back on this and laugh. You're actually making it more memorable, and also a story we can tell our kids."

"I still don't want to have sex. I look disgusting."

"You do not look disgusting. You're carrying our baby, and that's a beautiful thing."

"We'll see if you're still saying that when I'm so big I can't see my feet," she said, and then started crying in earnest again.

"Even then I'll say it. You are my whole world, Sookie, and you're carrying our future inside you. I don't care how big you get, I will still find you sexy, and I will still love you."

She didn't seem to have anything to say in response to that, so I gently took a step back and made her look at me.

"I'll finish up supper, and we'll eat in the living room. Want to pick out a movie for us to watch while we eat?"

"Okay," she sniffled, and walked off to the living room with one hand on her stomach, where it had practically taken up permanent residence. The sight always made me smile. I hated that I couldn't do anything for her though. I know it's sappy, but I'd always been one of those men that truly appreciated what a woman goes through to bring a child into the world. It's a scary, yet very beautiful thing.

I finished making the supper Sookie had started, while sneaking Jude some scraps since she wasn't around to yell at me for it. She picked out Steel Magnolias for the movie, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying anything about the choice. Instead, I acted thrilled that she'd picked such a good movie. Sookie sobbed through most of the second half, and I rubbed her back in silent support. When the movie was over, the waterworks suddenly stopped and she declared that it was time for ice cream.

So far, she hadn't been having any out of the ordinary cravings other than insatiable appetite for ginger snaps. I had learned that when she was craving something, you made sure she got it or else she'd get really, really moody. Alcide told me that Maria only got moody at the end of her pregnancies, so I was hoping Sookie was just getting it out of the way and it would taper off later.

After we both had a bowl of chocolate ice cream, hers with crushed ginger snaps on top, and watched another movie, we headed up to bed. Sookie silently picked up the basket of our things from the guest room and carried it up to our room.

"I'm going to take a shower," she said. I watched her go into the bathroom and shut the door, wishing I could join her. I missed showering with her. What the hell was I waiting for? I needed to show her that I still found her attractive, and damn it, I was horny.

I waited until I heard the shower start and the door to the stall shut before I went into the bathroom and stripped. Sookie jumped when I joined her and immediately started yelling at me to get out.

"I'm serious, Eric!"

I grabbed her by her arms and put my best kissing skills to use until she finally went limp against me.

"Please let me shower with you. I miss it," I said.

She stared up at me dreamily for a moment, and then nodded.

"Fine, but no sex. I don't want to fall, and you probably couldn't hold me up anyway."

I wanted to say something, but thought better of it. Instead, I reached around her for the shampoo and began to lather her hair. She didn't put up a fight for the rest of the shower, and seemed much more relaxed than normal when we crawled into bed.

"Do you remember what you told me when I woke up?" I asked.

"I told you a lot of things," she smiled.

"It was the thing about how you used to fantasize that I was awake and making love to you."

"Eric…"

"Did you, or did you not fantasize about me making love to you?"

"I did," she sighed.

"Good. As your husband, and the love of your life," I said, running my hand up and under her shirt to graze the sides of her breasts, "it is my duty to make all of your fantasies come true. Let me make love to you."

"I'm not sure I can get into it," she said, a worried expression on her beautiful face.

"Close your eyes, and lay back," I whispered in her ear. She stared at me for a moment, and then hesitantly shut her eyes. I removed her shirt and took my time kissing down the length of her neck softly, taking my time reaching her breasts. Her breathing became shallow as I toyed with her nipples, swirling my tongue and nipping at them lightly. They had become more sensitive.

When she finally began to arch her back and moan a little, I moved further down and removed the heavy flannel pants she had begun wearing to bed every night. Her eyes were still closed tightly, so I lightly ran my fingers up the inside of her thigh and when I reached where I wanted most to be, she let out a small gasp and opened her eyes.

"Watch me, Sookie," I said, and then I was between her legs, tasting her, savoring her, giving her pleasure. I knew I finally had her when her hands tangled into my hair and pulled, hard.

"Please, I can't wait," she moaned.

In response, I brought my hand into the mix and pushed her over the edge quickly. She cried out and arched her back, and I continued to enjoy her until she sat up and pulled me on top of her.

"You've made your point," she panted. "Now give me my fantasy."

"As you wish," I whispered into her ear, and positioned myself, mindful of her growing baby bump. Slowly, I slid into her, taking much pleasure in the low moan that came from deep in her throat. As I started to move, I leaned down and whispered into her ear.

"I dreamed of this. Remembering the feel of you around me, of your skin against mine, it kept me fighting. I wanted it again, every day for the rest of my life. I swore I would never take you for granted; I would never take this for granted. You're perfect, Sookie. We're perfect. I love you."

When I moved to kiss her, I saw that she had tears running out of her eyes. I kissed them away before I kissed her lips, and shortly after that we came together, perfectly.

"Are you alright?" I asked her after we'd both caught our breath and I had her tucked into my side.

"I'm better than alright. You have no idea how much you really did make my fantasy real."

"Oh really?"

"In my dreams you whispered things like that. I wasn't expecting it," she said, and then her voice dropped to a light whisper. "For a moment I thought I was only dreaming again."

My heart sunk at her confession, and I turned her face up to mine and kissed her lips.

"I'm really here, and I'm never leaving you again. I promise."

Her eyes began to glisten again, and she buried her face into my chest as she clung tightly to me. It was like she was afraid I would turn to smoke and disappear. I didn't know what I could do, so I did the only thing I thought would be of any comfort. I wrapped my arms around her and started talking. At first it was just whispered promises and declarations, but as she calmed I started talking about our life together. I reminisced about our childhood, about how adorable she was as Tinkerbell. I talked about the moment I realized how she felt about me after I saw my Viking costume. Eventually she began to say things too, and we ended up talking for more than an hour before exhaustion forced us to succumb to sleep.

After that night, Sookie didn't cry anymore about being afraid of losing me. It was like she had just decided to be done with being afraid. We both threw ourselves into fixing up the nursery, and by the time Sookie was eight months along we were as prepared as we could be.

She had stopped being insecure about her body, so our sex life got back to normal until she was simply too uncomfortable to do anything. She and Maria fell into a routine of walking together and going out for lunch, and Alcide would come over and work out with me when he wasn't practicing.

Sookie still wanted to stay home with the baby, and I did too for a while, but I also wanted to work. We had a lot of money, and would be comfortable for quite some time, but I wanted to work and provide for my family, as well as have something to do. I started calling around to see about coaching positions, and finally got a call from a nearby high school that was extremely interested. They had the number one team in the state, and their coach was retiring after their upcoming season, so they wanted to offer me the position.

I talked it over with Sookie, and she was tremendously supportive of the idea. She said that the school was one of the best in the state academically, and for safety. The position also meant that I wouldn't have to start working until the baby was almost a year old, which was perfect for us. Also, Alcide was considering a retirement from football after the season because of what had happened to me. The school's assistant coach had gotten an offer from a college for an assistant coaching job, so I was able to negotiate for Alcide to be my assistant coach. It hardly required negotiating from the school, and soon enough Alcide and I were both signing contracts.

After one hell of a year, things were finally running smoothly, almost too good to be true. Sookie and I were happy and awaiting the birth of our first child, and the only arguments we had were over baby names. I wanted something simple, like William or Jack, but Sookie wanted something elaborate and unique, and kept throwing out the names of the men from the trashy romance novels she was into. Neither of us bothered trying to figure out a girl name because not only were we both positive it would be a boy, but if it was a girl she would be named after Gran unquestionably.

As we got closer to the due date, we both became more anxious. Sookie had been having some minor contractions, but nothing ever progressed. Finally, almost a week past her due date, she went into labor. We only stayed home until the contractions were ten minutes apart before we caved and went into the hospital, and after nearly fifteen hours they finally told us it was time.

I was about to be a daddy.


	11. Welcome to the World

**A/N:**

For anyone who hasn't yet noticed, I did change my pen name to scribeninja. I'm still LindsayK, just more ninja-like.

This is the last chapter of Candle in the Window. I hope you've enjoyed the story, and I apologize for the amount of time it took to get these last chapters out to you. You've all been such awesome, patient readers.

Thank you to my beta, FDM, who edited this at record speed. I love you, even if you do put chocolate in your chili. :)

* * *

**Chapter 11 - Welcome to the World**

Forty-eight minutes of pushing. That's what it took to deliver our baby boy. It felt like hours, but it was a mere forty-eight minutes. There were no complications, and he came out screaming, healthy, and beautiful. Everything seemed to move in slow motion after my final push. I remember the doctor placing him on my chest so that we could bond for a moment, before taking him away to clean him up. Eric brought him back to me when they were through, and sat on the edge of the bed so we could both admire him.

He looked up at both of us, and Eric kept his face close when he spoke to him so the baby could see who his daddy was.

"He's so perfect," Eric said, sounding a little choked up, and a lot excited.

"What can I say, he's got two good-looking parents and a hell of an oven in his mom," I said.

"You did so great, Sookie. I'm so proud of you," he said, and turned my chin to him so he could kiss me. One of the nurses got a picture of us as we kissed, and I started blushing when I imagined how I must look.

"Thanks, Cindy," Eric said, nodding at the nurse.

"You planned that?"

"I knew you'd throw a fit, so I asked her if she could try to get a candid shot of all three of us."

"I probably look like a monster right now."

"You're beautiful," he said, tucking some of my sweat-soaked hair behind my ear.

A couple hours later, after seeing Alcide, Maria, the kids, and Jason, I passed out. When I woke up, it was bright outside, and even though I felt disgusting, my view warmed my heart. Eric was changing our son's diaper, and getting him dressed again. I didn't clue him in to the fact that I was awake, and watched as he picked him up, cradling him in his big hands before sitting in the glider.

"We've got to figure out a name for you, little man. I promise not to let your mommy give you a crazy one," he said. Eric stared at him for a moment, smiling. "You look like her. You have her nose and her ears," he said, touching them gently with his index finger, "which is probably a good thing. She's going to be so happy to see you when she wakes up."

"I'm awake," I said, making Eric jump slightly. He looked at me and smiled.

"Say something else."

"Why?"

"He's looking for you."

"Eric Northman, bring me my son," I said with a smile. I saw my baby's tiny head moving around like he was trying to find the source of my voice. Eric got up, and brought him over to me, placing him gently in my arms.

"Hey there," I cooed at him. He was so beautiful. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"A good nine hours or so. What do you remember?"

"Did I feed him? That felt real, but like a dream."

"We woke you up to feed him, but you were really out of it."

"Have you kept him in here the whole time?"

"Yup," he grinned, proud of himself. "They've taken him a couple times for their nursing stuff, but the rest of it he's been in here with us."

"What on earth are we going to name him?" I asked. "We haven't been able to agree on anything."

"We can rule out most of your names since we don't want to be those embarrassing parents who send their kid to school with a name like Theo."

"Okay, that may have been my hormones talking, but they weren't all bad. Is the baby name book still in my purse?"

"Yeah, I'll get it."

It took us almost an hour to finally find the name that felt natural and right.

"Connor Hale Northman," Eric said. "I can live with that. Besides, we get to name like seven more of these things."

"Ha!"

"Oh, come on, you always said you wanted more."

"I do, but I'm not going through that seven more times. Maybe three more. Two years apart."

"I can live with that," he said. "Now let's get a nurse in here so we can do all the official stuff, and then you can take a shower."

"Oh god, that sounds like heaven right now."

We checked out of the hospital the next morning, and took our baby home. I sat in the backseat with him, and Eric drove home slowly, cursing under his breath at the idiotic drivers.

Connor was sleeping when we got him home, so we brought Jude in and let him check the baby out. He sniffed him and the car seat for a moment, then licked his tiny hand. Apparently, Connor got Jude's approval because Jude plopped down right in front of the car seat like he was standing guard. We laughed and took the baby into the nursery upstairs. Eric laid him in the crib so he could keep sleeping, and I unloaded the stuff we brought home from the hospital. Jude followed us in, and parked himself on the floor right in front of the crib.

"It seems we have ourselves a little guard dog," Eric said as we made our way back downstairs, baby monitor in hand.

"I'm glad. Can you imagine all the cute pictures? I need to get a new memory card for my camera, and a back up hard drive to store them on."

"You're not going to take that many pictures of him," Eric laughed.

"The hell if I'm not! I want to document everything. Could you imagine if we got his first smile on camera?" I gushed as Eric and I sat on the couch. He pulled me into his side, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"It'll get harder as he gets older."

"Eric, don't talk about him getting older. I just gave birth. I don't want to imagine him as anything but my little baby for a while."

He chuckled into my hair, and I yawned, loudly.

"You should take a nap. Sleep while he's sleeping, cause he'll be hungry when he wakes up," Eric said, and stood up.

"But I'm comfy here. Sit back down, we'll sleep on the couch."

"Nope, you need decent rest while you can get it," he said, then scooped me up into his arms carefully, but like I weighed nothing.

"Jesus, how can you carry me? You're going to hurt yourself!"

He rolled his eyes, and tightened his grip as he started for our bedroom. "I'm as strong as I was before, if not stronger. Alcide and I have been working out a lot. And you are not heavy."

"I call bullshit. I gained twenty pounds, Eric!"

"So what? You're still beautiful, and your boobs and butt are bigger. I win."

I couldn't help myself, and started laughing.

"Don't get too used to them, because I'll be making use of that treadmill of yours as soon as I can."

"Whatever you say, dear," he said, and set me down on our bed.

He curled up behind me and held me close, his hand resting on my stomach where the baby used to be.

"I definitely need to knock you up again soon," he whispered. "I miss the way it felt."

"I know what you mean," I said, and placed my hand on his. "But if you knock me up again before he's two, I'll rip your balls off."

I fell asleep to the sound of Eric's soft laughter, and woke up to our son screaming his little head off. We both got up groggily and looked at the clock.

"We only slept forty minutes," Eric said, rubbing his eyes and stretching.

"I suppose we better get used to it."

When we went into the nursery I stopped and let out an, "Aww!"

Jude was sitting in front of the crib, staring up at it with his head cocked to the side. It was adorable. Eric rolled his eyes at me, and picked up Connor. I stood back and watched as Eric cradled our tiny son in his arms, rocking him and shushing him gently to calm him down. I was so happy that we were able to have this, together, and also sad that I'd held out on it for so long.

"He's hungry," Eric said when he pressed his finger to Connor's lips and he tried to suck on it.

I sat in the rocking chair and lifted my shirt, and Eric brought him to me. He gently placed him in my arms, and stayed there until I got him to latch on. It was a strange, slightly painful feeling, but a good one.

Eric pulled the glider over and sat with us, watching contentedly as I fed our son.

_One Year Later…_

"Daddy!" Connor squealed excitedly in my arms as I sat down on the bleachers.

"Yes, there's daddy," I laughed, waving at Eric so he'd know we were there. He waved back before continuing with practice. Connor hobbled over to the railing and held on as he watched, and I went to sit next to him, letting my feet hang over the side.

Connor was growing into a very handsome little guy. He had bright blonde hair, and Eric's eyes and bone structure. He had my nose and ears, and Eric's lips. Most people tried to say he was the spitting image of one or the other of us, but he was actually the perfect mix.

"Ball!" Connor shouted, and smiled up at me as he pointed to the field where Alcide had just tossed it to one of the players.

"Very good!" I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Eric and Alcide started their roles as coaches over the summer with weightlifting and football camp. It was four days a week, and they alternated who supervised the morning weightlifting. School had just started, and with it would come the first game. Eric confessed to me that even though they had a fantastic team he was worried about the season opener. A lot of the players were having trouble seeing Eric and Alcide as coaches, and not former NFL superstars who they idolized.

Connor was very attached to Eric, and had some separation issues when Eric started working regularly. Since I wasn't doing anything else, I suggested taking him to the practices sometimes so he could see where his daddy was, and Eric liked the idea, especially since the school was within walking distance. We would walk to the school once they'd already gotten started and sit in the bleachers until the guys headed for the locker rooms. Connor liked to watch all the players walk by in their helmets and gear, and they took to him quickly, giving him high-fives and making him laugh. He'd become their little mascot.

When Eric sent the guys in, Connor and I walked down to the end of the bleachers and he got his requisite high-fives as the boys walked by. He was giggling when Eric got there and took him from me. Connor bounced in Eric's arms and said 'daddy' over and over.

"Hey little man, I missed you," Eric laughed.

"Hmm…" I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I missed you too my little cream puff," he smirked, pulling me to him with his free arm and planting one heck of a kiss on my lips.

We broke apart when one of the players shouted "MILF!" as he walked past. Two others chuckled and high-fived him. Eric stiffened and turned around to face them.

"You three. Two laps. Full gear. Now," he barked.

Their eyes hit the ground, and they turned around to head back to the track. Eric turned back to me and apologized for them.

"You know, as disrespectful and offensive as it was, I'm glad to know I'm still considered hot," I said quietly.

"I thought I proved that to you last night," he whispered back, and before I could respond Alcide walked up to say hello.

Connor got excited and reached for Alcide, so Alcide took him from Eric to give him a hug.

"You just keep getting bigger, kiddo," he said.

"You just saw him two days ago," I laughed.

"They grow in the blink of an eye," he smiled.

"Seems like just yesterday that Maria was giving birth to Jo, and now she's crawling everywhere."

"That does happen," Eric laughed, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be ready to go in fifteen."

"Okay, we'll be here," I smiled. Alcide handed Connor back to me and then he and Eric went into the locker rooms.

I took Connor back up on the bleachers and held his hands as he walked the length of one. When he got to the end I turned him around so he could go back the other way, and then I lifted him up and lowered him to the ground as though he had jumped. He laughed hysterically and turned around, and began slapping the bleacher to let me know that he wanted to do it again.

"More!" he said.

"Alright, alright," I laughed, and just as I was about to pick him up again the boys that had to do laps came up to us. I picked up Connor and held him on my hip.

"We just wanted to apologize about before, ma'am," the one in front said, and the other two nodded. "It was a rude thing to say, and we hope we didn't offend you."

I glanced beyond them and saw Eric and Alcide watching with identical smirks on their faces. I smiled warmly at the boys.

"It's alright, boys. I appreciate you coming to apologize. I just hope y'all learned some manners from this incident."

"Yes ma'am," they said in unison.

"Alright, hit the showers," Eric said, and the boys hurried off to the locker room.

"Look at you, teaching valuable lessons to your jocks."

"Believe it or not, jocks do have brains that are capable of absorbing things other than football plays."

"Could have fooled me."

"Funny," he smiled. "Ready to go home?"

"Yes, the house smells like chili by the way. Just have to make some cornbread when we get back."

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"It's possible."

Eric picked up Connor and tossed him into the air once to make him laugh. I loved the sound of the two most important men in my life laughing together.

From the first time I came to a practice with Connor, it struck me just how full circle Eric and I had come. It wasn't a great many years ago that I was sitting on the bleachers doing homework while waiting for my best friend to finish practice so he could take me home. Now I was lucky enough to be doing the same thing, only my best friend was my husband as well, and rather than doing homework I was watching our child.

Eric strapped Connor into his car seat while I loaded the stroller into the back. He still had his corvette, but he only got to drive it occasionally now. The rest of the time he drove his SUV. I got into the passenger seat and Eric gave me another kiss after he got in and started the engine.

"I'm starving," he said. "Knowing there's chili and cornbread in my near future is the best news I've heard all day."

I smiled, and took his hand, but didn't say anything. There would be more good things in his near future, and he didn't have a clue. I was practically busting to tell him, but I wanted to wait until Connor was asleep for the night.

When we got home Eric played with Connor and Jude in the living room while I made up the cornbread. I enjoyed listening to the sounds of them laughing for a few minutes before I interrupted them so we could feed Connor before our food was done.

I stripped him down to his diaper and put him in his high chair so Eric could feed him. The kid always ate for Eric. He wouldn't put up a huge fuss with me most of the time, but more often than not I had to do the train and airplane noises to get him to open his mouth.

As soon as Connor finished we gave him a cookie to eat while we had our supper. Eric put cheese and crackers in his chili, and thanked me profusely after his first bite.

"This is just what I needed. I don't think any meal makes me feel more at home than your chili and cornbread."

I smiled at him as he ate. His good mood would only improve in a couple of hours, and I was extremely excited to do it right this time. We finished eating, and I took Connor upstairs to give him a bath, while Eric did the dishes. He came up when he was done and helped me complete the nighttime ritual of reading a book and putting him to bed.

We went downstairs with the baby monitor to watch a little TV, and after about an hour Connor stopped babbling, and started snoring.

"I love that he snores like you," Eric said, and I smacked him on the arm.

"I'm not nearly that loud," I laughed, and then snuggled into his side.

When we'd both almost passed out on the couch we decided to head up to bed. I began to get nervous about telling him, because I wasn't sure if his reaction would be the same as I'd imagined it. We had agreed on two years, and it was only now just over one.

Eric checked on Connor while I got changed for bed, and I was already under the covers when he came in. He gave me an odd look, but didn't say anything as he pulled off his clothes and put on a pair of flannel pajama pants. He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and turned off the overhead light before crawling into bed.

"Okay, tell me what's on your mind," he said.

I took a deep breath and turned on my bedside lamp.

"Is this serious?" he asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

"It's important, but not a cause for concern," I smiled. I picked up his hand and took another deep breath.

"Spit it out," he chuckled, trying to ease the tension. "I'm dying here."

"I'm pregnant," I said, like ripping off a band aid.

"What?" he asked, shock written all over his face. "How? I mean, you're on the pill, and just… really?"

"Well, you have that supersperm stuff. I was on the pill the first time too, and I guess I should have taken a lesson from that. Ten home tests came out positive, my boobs are sensitive, and I can smell everything. I know we said two years, but I don't think it's a bad thing, and Conn…"

Eric reached forward suddenly and cradled my face in his hands as he kissed me hard. I guessed he wasn't upset.

"You make me so happy," he said, unable to stop smiling as he spoke. "Did you think I would be mad?"

"No, not really. I was just getting nervous."

"I'm the one who should be nervous. You said you'd rip my balls off if I knocked you up before Connor was two."

"Well have no fear, because I rather like your balls," I giggled. I was positively giddy now that it was out in the open.

"Do you?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows as his fingers played with the hem of my tank top. Apparently my husband got horny when he knew I was pregnant.

"I do," I said.

Eric pulled my top off and tossed it over his shoulder as he lowered himself on top of me.

"I love you, Sookie," he whispered into my ear, and I responded in kind before he showed me just how much he loved me.

After we were both sated, we laid there in a tangled pile of sweaty limbs, breathing heavily and grinning like fools.

"I can't wait to see all of this one," he said after he caught his breath. "I feel like I missed so much of Connor."

"You really didn't," I smiled. "Next time I'm definitely getting a different form of birth control. And when we're done, you need a vasectomy. I'm not going to have five kids and get surprised with a sixth just because your little swimmers feel like being cocky."

Eric burst into laughter, and kissed me again. He was soft, and gentle, almost reverent in the way he kissed this time.

"I'm holding you to five now, I hope you know that."

"We'll see," I said, knowing that I wasn't actually opposed to the idea. I was really growing to love it, actually. I wanted a lot of children and grandchildren, a house full of disorder and happy kids.

"I'll have to do my best to convince you," he smirked, pressing himself into my thigh. "It is awfully fun making them."

"You know, I think you're right," I said with a sly smile as I shifted just right against him. "I think you're very right."

* * *

**A/N:**

And there you have it. I hope it didn't disappoint! I do have a link for you to check out! I did an author's interview with the wonderful smittenskitten for her blog, and in the words of Krismom: "It reads like a director's commentary." Which gave me the giggles. Check the interview out here:

http:/interviewsoffanficauthors(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com/2010/08/my-interview-with-linsayk-aka(DOT)html

Please check out the other interviews on the blog!


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